Ashley Did It!
by Terasa
Summary: Andrea, Kharl, and Ashley are in a completely different world; one the girls know a bit about from watching movies. How will Aragorn react to their random behavior; more importantly, why does Ashley have a weapon? "I don't know what that means," Ash responds in a dreamy voice," but it sounds important and your face is pretty."Haldir/OC, Aragorn/OC Co-written by Secretly-A-Fangirl.
1. Prologue: Hobbits are Real

"Ashley!" My dark eyes widen and I begin to sprint as quietly as I can towards the small closet a few feet away. "You can't hide," she says in a dangerous voice. I wince, safely hidden in the closet—you should try holding in a sneeze, it's not easy. "Come out, come out wherever you are."

I look through the keyhole, trying to catch a glimpse of the woman chasing me. Okay, so I'll admit I started this whole thing and accidently smacked her forehead, but I don't think I deserve death. The door opens suddenly, knocking me backwards. Andrea's blue eyes show her rage and satisfaction, her hands balled into fists.

"C'mon, Andi, how about you go relax on the couch and I'll fix you a Dr. Pepper," I suggest, standing up with a small hopeful smile on my pale face.

"Or I can get my revenge." I bit my thumbnail, contemplating on what to do. That's when my metaphorical light bulb flickers on. "Now, hold still and I won't drag this out too much longer." Faster than either of us thought possible, I dodge her and run out of the closet shouting," You'll never take me alive!"

"Who's the fastest runner again?" Without turning around I hold up my hand, flipping her off. Yeah, if she catches me she's gonna try to break that finger.

"Ah, shut your face!" The front door opens and one of my brothers, Kharl, steps inside, clad in his usual choice of clothing: jeans, white T-shirt, black cowboy boots, and a black trench coat. Well, at least now I'm not totally on my own against the she-devil!

"What are you doing in my house," he asks, dark green eyes showing amusement. Andrea runs into my back, knocking me to the floor where I stretch out like I meant for it to happen.

"Oh, you know, just playing Hide and Seek." I smile innocently as I try to kick Andi as hard as I can.

"Hey, Kharl," Andrea says, easily catching my foot before it can make contact with her stomach. Kharl rolls his eyes skywards, pointing at the door.

"As glad as I am that Ashley can finally pick a lock, get out of my house before my company gets here." Kharl looks like a normal twenty-two year old, but he's actually a skilled assassin—only killing people that have done terrible things and got off lightly. Shrugging, I get up and lead the way outside. He'd tell me all about it later.

Halfway to my house Andi opens her mouth. "I would've won, you know." She has a good point, but I'm not about to fuel her oversized ego.

"At least I'm not easily amused."

"You have a short attention span," she points out, tucking some of her blonde hair behind an ear.

"Okay, at least I have a reason why I'm easily amused." She shakes her head, opening the door to my house with the spare key I gave her two years ago.

"Let's watch a movie." This was normal for the two of us when we are bored. We try to find a movie that the both of us can agree on, but it's a lot easier said than done.

"'Kay, how about Lord of the Rings?" Andrea, Kharl, and I are Okie Rednecks—always have been, always will be, so that'll explain why we talk the way we do.

"Sounds good; do you know who it was that Kharl was expecting?" Andi doesn't exactly know about Kharl's job; something I don't plan on changing anytime soon. I nod, putting the DVD in the player. Please, just drop the subject! "Who was it?"

"Well, oh look, the movie's started! Go make us some popcorn!" Neither of us notice the movie beginning to fast forward as we walk into the next room.

"What'cha getting'?"

"A pickle." I reach into the refrigerator to get the jar, a pickle-induced grin on my face.

"How do you eat those?"

"They're just cucumbers soaked in evil." By the time the popcorn is done and we get back in the living room Arwen is rushing Frodo to Rivendell. "Aw, we missed Bilbo!" Andi ignores me as per the norm.

"I can't believe you're wearing black in summer." I'm wearing a black T-shirt that says 'Awkward moments define my life' and black slacks; my auburn hair is twisted into a clip. I'm not a Goth— I just like wearing darker colors. Andi is wearing a orange and white shirt and white basketball shorts. The TV makes a loud popping sound then I feel myself falling asleep, cutting off my witty comeback.

~Andrea's Point of View~

Ashley falls to the ground as her TV lets out a series of loud pops and bright flashes. Soon I find myself following her into sweet oblivion. After what feels like hours I begin to regain consciousness; the first thing I hear is Ashley letting out an evil chuckle. Jeez, just let me sleep!

"Andi, Hobbits are real," she whispers in my ear, almost tripping over me. I open my eyes slowly and see her sitting on a log with a Hobbit beside her. Hmm, Pippin's shorter in person. Wait, what?! "What'd I tell you," she mutters, arms crossed over her chest.

"She has a point," says Sam, looking at me curiously, like I am some kind of alien. I feel a little light headed when I stand up, wobbling slightly.

"Wow, queasy."

"I got that feeling when I woke up too," Ashley says, bouncing her leg. My eyes narrow in suspicion. She only does that when she's extremely hyper and a hyper Ashley means trouble.

"Did you have Mountain Dew?" Ash isn't supposed to drink that-she's almost impossible to deal with afterwards.

"No...Maybe...Yeah."

"Thought so." My eyes scan the heavily wooded area looking for—

"Who are you," questions a tall, great-looking guy with a sword—a very pointy sword that would have no problem in putting a hole in my belly. Yep, that's who I was looking for. King Ellesar, or is it Strider?

"Dum, dum, dum, dum, dummmmm," I mutter quietly as I eye the man in front of me with interest.

"Blonde moment," Ashley finishes. Hey, why do my shorts feel funky? Looking down I notice I'm in a dress; Ashley does the same, her right eye twitching slightly when she sees she's wearing an emerald dress and black cloak. She's not exactly a dress person. Mine is dark blue and the cloak is just a lighter blue. At least it's not pink. Yuck!

"Who are you," Aragorn/Ellesar/Strider (know what, I'm just gonna stick with Strider) asks again, talking slower.

"That is Ashley," says Pippin, pointing to my auburn-haired friend. Aragorn gets a strange look on his face when he sees Ashley, muttering something under his breath that sounded kinda like, "Larien."

"I-I-I'm A-a-a—"I stutter, eyes never leaving Strider's ruggedly handsome face. Man, can I be less of a Fangirl?

"Andrea," Ashley interrupts. I nod, still frozen to the spot. Jeez, I feel like I'm back in high school with a crush on Johnny Depp; well, I still have a crush on him, but I'm more mature now…I think. Strider loosens his hold on his sword.

"Where did you come from," he asks. I look over at Ash to see if she can think of anything. She has a familiar devious look on her face that she only acquires when A: she's doing homework, or B: she's pissed at her older "cousins"—Dean and Sam Winchester. No matter what though, it's usually never good. She clears her throat before beginning her story.

"You see, my friend and I were in my house when a magician appears before us. He was dressed entirely in black, fading in and out of my sight. We heard him mumbling and…then…well, we woke up here," she finishes, surprisingly keeping a straight face. Hey, that sounds kind of like Malkalam from the Ranger's Apprentice books!

"Does where you come from have a name," Strider asks, not believing Ash's story for a second. Yeah, I can't blame him there.

"Yes." I raise an eyebrow.

"Well, what is it?" That's a good question, is she going to make up a name or shall we stick to the usual?

"Twinkie." The usual it is then. She came up with it a couple years ago because her cousin was obsessed with the spongy snack.

"I've never heard of it." She shrugs, standing up. He looks over to me and I nod. "Alright. Would you two like to accompany us to Rivendell?"

"Yes, please," I say, trying to be polite to the hot guy with the sword. I smile cheesily.


	2. Damn Dresses and False Prophecy

~Ashley's Point of View~

After two hours of walking and mindless small talk Strider finally snaps. Andi and I have that effect on people, you see, we can be extremely annoying when we wanna be. Right now, we're bored and my concentration in going all over the place.

"Books, music, writing—pick a topic," Strider says through clenched teeth. I smile sweetly, ignoring his glare with ease.

"If you think that was bad you should see her and Kharl," Andrea says, flipping some of her blonde hair over her shoulder. Andi is a very hair obsessed person; I'd rather pull it back into a bun just to keep the thick crap out of my face. We walk a few minutes more in complete silence, then we're able to see Rivendell. Awesome! I smile and nudge Andrea.

"Andi, do you see that?"

"Yeah, I'm not blind…entirely." I nod, mouth hanging open slightly as we enter the city. If I could only use one word to describe it, it would have to be bright.

"Wish I had some sunglasses."

"Me too." I look over at Andrea, a single eyebrow raised.

"Dude, you have some on top of your head." She pulls them down over her eyes. Jeesh, not the brightest apple in the bunch, that's for sure!

"Oh yeah!" She laughs and sticks her tongue out at me. I stick mine back out at her, squeaking when I'm pulled to the front of the group by Aragorn, or is it Strider? Yeah, no, it's definitely Strider at the moment.

"How old are you," he asks seemingly out of nowhere. I look at him curiously, feeling safe near the tall man.

"Twenty-one." Strider nods his head slowly, as if trying to comprehend something. What's his deal—has he never saw two grown women acting like four year olds? You know, now that I think about it I can see why he would think Andi and I are a little off.

"Yet you do not act like it." I cross my arms and stick my tongue out at him. Surprisingly, he sticks his back out at me. Oh yeah, looks like I'm dealing with a hypocrite! Come to think of it, most people are hypocrites. He strangely reminds me of someone I know, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

"Now who's not acting their age," I mutter, looking around me at the elven city. Our little group reaches two large doors leading to Lord Elrond's home and said elf-dude comes out to great us.

"Welcome to Rivendell," he smiles warmly.

"Thank ya, Agent Smith." Andrea steps on my foot as hard as she can. "Sorry, meant Elrond!" Glaring, I smack Andi's forehead and dive behind Strider before she could retaliate. "Do you guys have pickles 'round here?" I get blank looks from everyone around with the exception of Andrea; she just gives me a death glare. Man, if looks could bruise I sure as heck wouldn't be pale!

"Leave it to you to ask that," says Andrea, shaking her head and straightening her expensive sunglasses. I shrug and glance at Elrond, who's staring at me like I've grown an extra head. "So, we gonna go in the big house or just stand here like a bunch of idiots?" Elrond nods, showing us into his giant house. "Where's the bathroom?" Elrond points down the hall and Andrea pulls me after her, making me stumble. The bathroom is as big as my house (scratch that, it's almost as big) made completely of different shades of marble and wood.

"Why'd you drag me in here," I ask, looking around the huge room. Dang, I want a bathroom this big!

"You have to act like you're from this world and that means not making fun of Aragorn." I make a face at that, already hating where her little talk is going. "It also means we have to—"she stops to take a deep breath. "We have to wear dresses."

"B-but it's fun to annoy Aragorn—actually it feels like I'm supposed to annoy Aragorn." Andrea chuckles at my very true fact.

"It is fun. Oh, hey, what's with you?" I raise an eyebrow in silent question, wondering what she is talking about. "You're usually quiet and withdrawn when you're around people you've never met before," she points out.

"Well, honestly I feel like I do know these guys." It's true, I've seen Lord of the Rings too many times for my own good, so it's only natural I feel like I know them already, isn't it? "Admit it, you feel safe here too." Andi shrugs a shoulder, looking a little uncertain—a rare thing for the blonde.

"I guess so, yeah, but I don't think my feeling is as strong as yours is; not yet anyway." We stand in the bathroom in silence for a few minutes more before I decide to head back to the group. "Ash, just try to fit in and not give away too much about where we're from."

"'Course I won't, I'm sticking to Ranger's Apprentice knowledge here!" We share a smile before I walk out and back down the long hall. Every now and then I'd see a random elf or elleth, but no one familiar. Just as I was beginning to think I was lost a familiar voice reaches my ears.

"Ashley!" I look over at Pippin, a big smile instantly appearing on my face as I watch the comical scene unfold before me. Merry and Pippin are fighting over a pipe and it seems they're at a tie for the moment as Merry's on top, but Pippin has the pipe just out of reach. Cool, Hobbit fight. "Help!" I run over and wrap my arms around a struggling Merry's waist, lifting him up. Pip gives his cousin a smug expression, not moving from his place on the ground.

"Hurry, Pip," I shout," I can't hold him!" Pippin gets to his feet and rushes to hide behind my legs. I set Merry down and walk over to Sam, who's sitting on some steps and looking around in awe. "What's up?" The Hobbit's hazel eyes land on me.

"Well, the ceiling's pretty far up…." I snort, shaking my head. Jeez, I love Hobbits—they're so dang adorable. Heh, just like Benji from Pitch Perfect.

"Uh, Sam, when someone asks you 'what's up' you normally reply with 'not much' or 'nothing'." He nods, smiling slightly and resuming his constant watching of those around him. Hey, kinda like Moody from Harry Potter! Wow, I really need to get a life. I shift on the step, trying to get comfortable; it's basically impossible since I'm freezing my butt off. "I hate dresses."

"Me too," Andrea grumbles, standing in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest. "See anything that interests you?" I shake my head slowly, all the marbles and fixtures of the house seeming too ornate for my taste.

"Ladies, please follow me," says Lord Elrond in a pleasant voice. I hold up a hand to Andrea and she pulls me to my feet before turning to face Elrond. I've never liked this guy, not even so much in the Matrix and I normally adore the bad guy. We start to follow the tall elf, but I stop and look back at the others (namely Strider).

"What, Strider, you don't want to embrace your feminine side?" His jaw clenches and I smile sweetly, turning to run after Andi and Agent Smi—I mean Elrond. Why does it have to be so bright here? Seriously, they should consider toning it down a bit.

"Where are we going," Andi asks, curiosity showing in her light blue eyes.

"To my office," Elrond answers simply, not once looking back to make sure we were following him. Heck, with his super-hearing he'd probably know whether or not he needed to drag us after him. Looking around us I can't help but wonder if Elrond has ever gotten lost around here. Heh, that'd make for a great story to tell future generations, _and this, kids, is the room your grandfather stumbled into one night thinking it was his bedroom but it was, in fact, where they kept all the torture devices_. Yes, that would be an interesting tale indeed.

"I'm gonna have to write that one down," I mumble to myself, satisfied grin settling on my face.

"Why are you talking to yourself," Elrond asks, raising and eyebrow. We had stopped in front of a pair of double doors made of some pretty type of wood.

"I'm a writer," I say like it was the most obvious thing in the world," I've earned that privilege. Some people need to be thrown off a cliff," I add, hating when people eavesdrops on my private conversations I like to have with myself. Andi gives me a look. "I didn't mean me!"

"Good save," she smiles, looking at me over the edge of her sunglasses. Lord Elrond ignores us, opening the large doors that lead to his study and steps aside to let us in. We each take a seat in the two guest chairs while Elrond sits in the comfortable-looking chair behind his desk. While he's fiddling in a desk drawer I lean towards Andrea to whisper to her.

"Only douchebags where sunglasses indoors." She doesn't get the chance to retort because Agent Elrond places a piece of parchment on the desk in front of us, careful not to let us see too much of it. That tells me that he doesn't want to tell us the complete truth about what's on that parchment.

"This is a prophecy sent to Rivendell from lady Galadriel. It tells of two young women who will appear here in a time of great danger. One, a writer, has the ability to move things with her mind, read the minds of others, glimpse the future, and write things to life. The other, very smart, can control the weather, a small fire breathing animal, and can help her friend control her visions. Both can heal others." Andrea and I look at each other.

"A writer," I say.

"Very smart," Andrea says.

"Yup, that's us," We say together, though I'm still suspicious. Lord Elrond nods, then looks to Andrea.

"Do you know what the animal you have control over would be?" We both nod our heads, Andi taking off her sunglasses and shooting me a wry smile.


	3. Awkward Dinner Conversations

~Andrea's Point of View~

"It's a dragon," I answer, trying not to laugh. Lord Elrond nods slowly, processing this new information—he then picks up the parchment and I'm able to see a faded design of a waterfall on the back before he hides it in his desk once more. An elleth enters the room, quickly dropping into a low curtsey. Wow, Elrond has his staff curtsey to him? I wonder if I could talk people into doing that in my amazing presence.

"Imreeinon, please take Andrea and Ashley to their rooms to get cleaned up," Elrond commands in a soft voice. The elleth straightens up, nodding her head and signaling for Ash and I to follow her. My room is the first we stop at and the elleth opens my door, closing it behind me and leading Ashley to her own. I wince as I look around; my room is done in bright colors. Why can't it be a bit darker; seriously, would it kill these people? Hesitantly, I open the wardrobe and glare at the dresses inside, eye twitching slightly.

"They're pink," I say through gritted teeth, grudgingly slipping one on and the matching shoes. I feel sick. "Time to go suffer with Ashley, I guess." On second thought...I make a dash to a door on the other side of my room and find an anteroom; inside it is a large pool-like tub set into the marble floor and filled with warm water. Ashley can wait, right now I'm gonna enjoy a bath.

**~Two Hours Later~**

Sighing, I knock on Ashley's door after getting lost twice trying to find it. Dang Elves couldn't give good directions if their lives depended on it!

"C-come i-i-in." I open the door and see her frozen in front of her wardrobe, looking at her dresses with a terrified expression.

"What color is yours?"

"White, I think I may barf." She looks over at me and begins to giggle. "You look like the pink crayon." I cross my arms over my chest, a scowl replacing the small smile that had appeared when I saw Ashley's dresses.

"Oh shut up."

"I'm sorry," she snorts, holding onto her sides. It's rare to see me wearing something pink; heck, it's rare to see me in something that isn't blue so I guess I can see why she finds it funny, but I _do not_ look like a dang crayon!

"No you're not." She loses her balance (if she ever had it in the first place) and falls to the ground, tears streaming down her face as her laughter continues. "I know it's a little funny, but holy crap, woman, where's your dignity?" There's a light knock on her door before the elleth from before enters and bows her head.

"My lady, dinner is ready." Ashley jumps up, a grin on her face as she wipes her tears away. I shake my head at her eager expression, unable to help the small chuckle that escapes.

"Sheesh, you and food."

"Hey, I'm fat, I like food." I shake my head, not bothering to say anything. I hate it when she calls herself fat. Ashley and I follow the elleth to the dining room—the room itself is bigger than my house, in the middle is a long table where all the men have crowded; they stand up when Ash and I enter the room. I could get used to that. Pippin calls for us to sit by him; apparently him and Ashley are already good friends. "Hi, Pip," she smiles.

"Hi, Lady Ashley," Pippin greets around a mouth-full of food. Ashley and I laugh at his face, his cheeks puffed out.

"I've got a title," Ashley says excitedly. Leave it to Ashley to get excited about that.

"Your short attention span is showing," I quip, taking a bite of some pasta.

"Rude," she says, sending me a playful glare. It's hard for her to be serious a lot, but when she is serious there's no snapping her out of it unless you know what her Kryptonite is: pickles. Pickles normally cheered her up, that and cherries. "Not like it matters to you though." I nod at the very true fact.

"That's right, but you're the same way." Her lips purse as she thinks that over for a few seconds, absently playing with a strand of auburn hair that had come lose from the clip.

"You know me too well." I nod again; there was no arguing with that one. We've been friends since seventh grade so if we didn't know each other at least decently well we'd have issues. Well, we do have issues, but that's beside the point.

"Yup." Suddenly her expression changes from thoughtful to completely horrified. My eyebrows scrunch together as I watch my friend's already pale skin turn ashen. "What's wrong?"

"I was _right_, that's what!" I keep staring, sure that she would explain in a moment about what she's talking about. "It is all fire and brimstone inside you noggin!" That figures, Elrond just had to be right about her mind reading powers. I let out an evil laugh for dramatic effect—one Kharl would be proud of I don't mind saying. "Knock it off; you're scaring my favorite hobbit."

"I'm your favorite," Pip asks, eyes wide and innocent.

"Of course, you're the awesomest!"

"Is that even a word," I question, one eyebrow raised befire I take a drink of some water. At least they're not making me drink wine, I've heard that crap's nastier than when Ash and Kharl barbequed poor Bambi; the only meat I normally eat is turkey and cow and Kharl likes to say that I'm insane for thinking like that.

"Probably not." Well, at least she hasn't called me a fat judgmental blonde yet; that is her favorite insult even if the person she yells it at isn't fat. Actually, it's normally fat judgmental bastard. "Oh I will, when you least expect it, I will."

"Stay out of my head!'

"Sorry."

"No you're not.'"

"Congradulations, you're catching on." We glare at each other, a normal thing that doesn't seem to bother anyone around us, at least, we don't think it did. Merry gives us curious looks as we continue to glare, both of us daring the other to look away. Apparently this began to disturb people because Strider decdided to inturrupt our glaring contest.

"Are you two sisters," Aragorn asks. This question causes us both to start laughing at the bearded man, thankfully we didn't fall out of our chairs though because that would have been embarassing. He looks confused as to why we're laughing. Poor man, he must not hang around fun people that often.

"Are you two sisters," Aragorn asks. We both start laughing.

"No," I say when I finally calm down, still trying to catch my breath while Ashley lays her head on Pippin's shoulder for a moment before straightening up again. "What's up with your face," I ask Ashley when I notice she's gone ashen again.

"I just looked into Aragorn's mind, NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!"

"Way to go Ashley, you looked into someone else's mind except mine!" I pat her back, ginuinly happy that she's somewhat managed how to peek at other's thoughts and will hopefully not bug me about my mind. She looks down at her plate, face lighting up like the Christmas tree Ashley will never own. She thinks they're more annoying than anything. "You really should lay off the pickles, they're not exactly healthy."

"Oh, and chocolate is?"

"Valid point."

"You see, what'd I tell you? They change topics quickly," Strider tells Lord Elrond, looking both annoyed and amused at the same time. Dang, he looks so good when he smiles.

"I thought you were exaggerating."

"My mother taught me about Hypocrisy 'I told you once I've told you a hundred times, don't exaggerate'," Ashley says randomly. Well, considering it is Ashley it's not really random, it's normal.

"Heeey, yeah you're right," she smiles, going back to eating.

"Once again Ashley, stay out of my head!"

"Sorry, I just get sucked in there sometimes." She looks like she's telling the truth, but I honestly couldn't care at the moment. In fact, when I'm done eating I'll probably go to my room and wake up in the morning and find out this was all just some crazy dream. Yeah, that sounds about right.

"Uh-huh, yeah, sure."

"That's right." Oh Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. "Yes?"

"Stop it!" She raises one eyebrow and bites into her pickle. it would've been enough to make me laugh, but right now I'm feeling a little stressed and, well, completely loco. Afterall, I am eating dinner in Lord Elrond's house with Strider. Stop reading my mind.

"Nunca," she says smiling. That is her favorite word in Spanish, the only one she really remembers and it means never; she liked French better and took a class in college.

"Si!"

Nunca!"

"Stop it both of you," Strider snaps...again. Dang, when it comes to ticking off Strider we'd should get a pretty good A.

"Nunca," we snap in unison.

"What does that mean?" Strider looks like he's starting to get angry and we probably don't want to see him, to risk sounding like  
Ashley, Hulk out.

"Tu idioso," Ashley says, nodding her head confidently.

"What?"

"I told you so."

"Told me what," I ask.

"He's an idiot." I narrow my eyes at her, hating that she insulted my favorite character.

"Hey," Aragorn shouts. Ashley just shrugs and starts to talk to Pippin. Whenever someone gets mad at her she simply ignores them until they get over it; it's something that makes me wanna smack the crap out of her at times. "Is your friend always like this?" He looks disappointed now.

"Yes actually," I shrug, taking a few more bites of the delicious food.

"It is disrespectful."

"It's Ashley, she says what she thinks."

"She is blunt," says Lord Elrond.

"Very," I agree. She sticks her tongue out again.

"Do not start that again," Aragorn commands. Heh, just like that vulture from the Jungle Book!


	4. Sexist Blondes and Surprising Appearance

~ASHLEY POV~

_Aragorn is so bossy! _I take another bite of my pickle. "I don't get Zombies." Well, someone needed to start a conversation and it might as well be me. Besides, I'm bored and I have the need too annoy people; mostly Strider.

"I like them," Andi responds, content to gaze discreetly at Strider," they're dead and want to eat your flesh. If you get away after they bite you, you turn into one." She shrugs, flipping some of her light blonde hair out of her face.

"I could never get into them." Aragorn groans and stands up. Looks like I've done my job well.

"I'm retiring for the night. Good night my lord, ladies, young hobbits," he announces, nodding his head to each of us. His gaze lingers on Andi and I for a moment-eyes warm and familiar.

"Yeah, I'm going to bed too, night everyone," I say standing. I walk back to my room (only getting lost a grand total of six times), take a quick bath, and hop into my huge ass bed.

~Dream-

It's daylight in a garden like atmosphere. People are fighting, screaming at each other. It was no one race, Elves, Men, Dwarfs, and one certain Gandalf the gray. I can hear a small voice, like a hobbit.

-End Dream~

"Ashley let's go, it's time to wake up," shouts Andi, making me jump and nearly fall off the bed. I have a bad habit of sleeping near the edge that I should try to break one of these days.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I pull on silver, almost white, dress and shoes. When I open the door she grabs the front of my dress and hauls me into the hallway, the look on her face telling me that today is not a good day to get on her bad side.

"Come on we're late for the council meeting!" She grabs my arm, once again dragging me after her. On the way to wherever the meeting is being held we have to dodge more elves than I care to remember and even managed to make it to our destination relatively unscathed besides the bruise I have on my arm because of Andrea's tight grip. She pulls me down so that we're hiding behind a bush, but can still see and hear everything that's going on.

"Bet you wish you were short now," I smirk, making myself comfortable on the hard stone ground, not noticing the spider crawling on my leg. I'm barely 5'4 while she's 5'6.

"Oh shut up and watch the fight." It was just like in my dream. "Déjà vu."

"I dreamed about it last night." She nods; it must be our memories trying to surface because I can't remember what happens after the contest to see who can out-yell the others. Suddenly, Merry and Pip are running forwards yelling," Oi, we're coming too!" Jeez, Hobbits are so freakin' adorable! I shake my head, looking down and, my brown eyes widening, I jump up from my position.

"Get it off," I scream, the spider holding onto my dress. "Get it off now, please! It's gonna kill me!" Instinctively, I run over to Strider, tears streaming down my face. "Get this thing off of me!" Sam calmly walks over, takes the spider, and places it on the ground; I step on the sucker to make sure it didn't try to eat me again. Did I mention I'm scared of spiders? Elrond rolls his eyes. Andi walks over to us.

"We'll be going too, just giving you fair warning." Elrond shrugs, looking happy to be rid of us. Yeah, can't really blame him; Andrea can get really annoying sometimes.

"Twelve will be leaving here so-" Lord Elrond is interrupted when a man falls out of the sky. He is wearing jeans, a black T-shirt, black cowboy boots, and a black trench coat, and is holding a sniper rifle. Ladies and gentlemen, Kharl has entered the building.

"How the, when the." His green eyes lock on mine. "Ashley!"

"I didn't do it...this time! I swear Kharl. Were you on a 'business trip'," I ask, eyeing the rifle, "And without me!" I usually go with him to make sure we didn't leave any evidence behind that could get us caught.

"Sorry Ninjakookie, I had no choice." I nod and help him up. "Hey, can you do the thing you do with my rifle?" I nod and take some powder out of the pouch around my neck and sprinkle it on the gun. When it was through shrinking he puts it in his pocket. A demon I know gave me the stuff when I helped him out a devil's trap.

"He'll be coming with us," I say to Elrond.

"You'll be leaving tomorrow and you will be called the Fellowship of the ring," Elrond rushes to get the words out, seemingly scared that more people would fall out of the sky.

"It's about time," I whisper to Andrea.

"Yup."

"That word is my property! Didn't Elrond say I could levitate stuff?"

"Yees." I feel and evil grin growing on my face as I look over at a certain Hobbit that bugs me to no end.

"He, he, this'll be fun." I point at Frodo while thinking _up._ He starts to float; I make him go in circles until I catch Elrond's glare.

"Ashley put the hobbit down," he commands. I let him go...and he fell...on his head. "Ashley you killed the ring bearer!" Blushing, I look around for someone to blame.

"Boromir did it!"

"Hey," said giant exclaims.

"I'll take his place," Andrea says confidently, raising her hand. It's not like we killed permanently, he's just paralyzed for the moment; believe me when I say I know how this works.

"I second that nomination," I exclaim, avoiding Agent Smith's glare.

"Me too," Kharl says. "See, she's better off to do it," Kharl starts, nodding his head as he pokes Frodo using the toe of his boot.

"Yeah, I mean look at her, tall, a better since of direction."

"You finish each other's sentences," asks Aragorn. Kharl and I nod, shrugging. "This is going to be a long journey." Elrond reluctantly hands Andi the ring, trying to gauge her reaction. All she does is slip the chain it's on around her neck; the darkness not affecting her.

"My lord, I don't think Lady Andrea and Lady Ashley should go with us," Boromir says.

"Shut up you stupid sexist blonde," I exclaim.

"Yeah, we could kick your butt!" Andrea's going to kill him.


	5. When did They get Here?

**~Andrea's PoV~**

_It's official, I hate Boromir. _Ashley and I storm off to our rooms, Kharl following closely behind us. I could probably take that turkey down without breaking a sweat! As I walk down a hallway, I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror. "Aw man, Ashley was right; I do look like the pink crayon." _Girr, I hate Elves and their terrible sense of color! I still can't believe Ash nearly killed Frodo. _Once in my room I pull on a new, darker dress. A knock sounds at my door and before I could move, Ash barges in with Kharl right behind her. "Hey guys."

"Still can't believe you guys are wearing dresses," Kharl laughs while looking around my room. He better not steal something and blame it on me. I glare at the man, blue eyes showing my barely restrained fury.

"Oh, shut it," Ashley and I exclaim.

"Sorry." Yeah, if he's sorry, then I live in a pineapple under the sea. A loud crash outside my window makes all of us turn, instantly on high alert. _Now what?! _We run over to the window and see Duncan and Michael lying in the bushes. Those two are some of the most annoying people I know and, believe me, I know quite a few.

"Andrea," they yell.

I glare over at the woman next to, knowing that the glare could make an Orc stop dead in its tracks. "Ashley!" She goes wide-eyed, shaking her head and holding up her hands as if to surrender.

"Why does everyone blame me," she asks. The innocent look stopped working years ago and now only served to make her look guiltier than even Voldemort.

"'Cause it's usually you," Kharl points out, making Ashley cross her arms with a scowl.

"It still wasn't me this time." She comes closer to the window, closing one eye and sticking the very tip of her tongue out; she was attempting to concentrate. As Ashley was levitating them a random Elf took Duncan as a threat and shot an arrow through his ankle, apologizing once he realized what Ashley was doing. Duncan screams like a girl, making everyone except him explode into laughter. Slowly, Ash deposits the two men on my bed. "They're alive," she exclaims happily, going for the Frankenstein effect and almost nailing it.

"What," Michael shrieks, voice squeaking and reminding me of my old Algebra I teacher. I don't miss that lady in the slightest!

"I nearly killed Frodo." I nod with a smile. Duncan looks at all of us like we'd lost our minds, growing paler by the second, and a light sheen of sweat appearing on his face.

"I've got an arrow in my leg," he exclaims, tears streaming down his cheeks and his blood staining my _very white _bed sheets. Oh, he's gonna get it if I'm forced to wash those!

"Technically it's your ankle; Andi or I could heal you..."

"Really?"

"But we're pretty sure Elrond lied about that," I say matter-of-factly, effectively popping his hopeful little bubble. He groans in pain as Ash opens the door to my room, looking in the hallway for someone to help us.

"Yo, Legolas," she shouts.

"Yes, my lady?"

"Our friend got shot in the ankle with an arrow...fix 'im." The Elf walks in, asking Kharl to help him carry Duncan to the infirmary.

"Squeaker, how'd you two get here," I ask, closing the door again. He shrugs, scratching the back of his head in confusion. I can't blame his there—this whole situation is confusing beyond words. Ash tilts her head to the side, examining him and then saying." You're ears are big." Squeaker's face goes beet red and he covers his ears with his hands.

"Shut up, I'm a redneck!" That was his comeback for _everything_.

"Noo, I'm a redneck, _you're _a redneck knockoff." I massage my temples, growing annoyed rather quickly. This seems to be their favorite argument to have whenever they're around each other. Having heard it multiple times since seventh grade, I'm proud to say that I have it memorized.

"Both of you shut up," I yell. "Ashley, why'd you burst in here in the first place?" She'd better give me a straight answer or, so help me, I'll deck her.

"Um, oh yeah, do you remember much of anything at all from the book or movie?" _Now that she mentions it, I don't remember a lot at all; just a few snapshots every now and again of things that have already happened_. I shake my head, Squeaker saying that he can't either.

"Shut up, Squeaker," we both shout.

"Jeez," he grumbles," you guys are cranky."

"Can we kill him?"

"Not in public; not yet, anyway." I sigh and push Squeaker off my bed, sitting on the clean half. Ashley settles on the floor, leaning back against my bed. "There's a bright spot in all of this."

"And what would that be?"

"No annoying college professors or bosses." I notice her wincing every now and then, rubbing her eyes and temples. "What's wrong?"

"I've got a major headache." Suddenly her face goes blank and her pupils dilate until that nearly covers the dark brown.

"Ashley?" I nudge her shoulder, but she doesn't respond. "Someon—"I'm cut off by a sudden migraine. I can see bits and pieces of Gandalf getting the crap beat out of him by Saruman, but that's already happened. Someone shaking me roughly snaps me out of it. I'm no longer in my room, but in one that's filled with beds. Duncan is on my left and Ashley is on my right, both are lying down; Ash looks like she's sound asleep while Duncan is trying to flirt with an Elleth. I still have a headache, but it's nowhere near as bad as the one I had earlier. "What happened?"

"You and Lady Ashley shared a vision," Elrond explains.

"Eh, more like a memory. Do y'all have something for pain?" A young Elf comes over and it's not long until I'm falling into darkness once more.


	6. We're Going on an Adventure!

**~Ashley's PoV~**

I wake to someone checking my pulse and rubbing something damp on my forehead, their hands freezing. Not remembering what world I'm in, the first person I think of is my little cousin. "Emy, get out," I mumble softly, dark eyes never opening.

"Miss?"

"Mm-hm," I say before passing out again.

~Dream-

I am sitting in a dark space, not moving for fear of falling. "Where am I?" My voice echoes as I wish my eyes would hurry up and adjust already. A few seconds after hearing the sounds of flames, a large burning eye appears in front of me. "What?" A voice begins to speak, but even if I could hear it better I wouldn't be able to understand the language it speaks.

-End Dream~

I open my eyes, quickly closing them again when I'm blinded by a bright light. "Stupid sun," I grumble, squinting until my eyes adjust. Blinking, I can make out Legolas leaning against a wall across from my bed, staring intently at me. "Stupid Elves." Sitting up, I stretch my arms over my head and pop my back. _At least my headache's gone_.

"Milady," Leggy asks, using a soft voice so as not to disturb anyone else that may be in the room. I look at him again, not seeing why he had so many fangirls; he looked ten times better in _Kingdom of Heaven_ as a knight. I motion for him to say what he wants, giving him an impatient look that I was so good at. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Like road kill, but it's morning and don't expect any less." He nods slowly, not understanding my phrase, and helps me up. "You guys wouldn't happen to have anything that could wake me up do you?"

"What wakes me up is a little breakfast." I wince, giving him a glare that could rival Andrea's. Breakfast this early for me was unheard of, maybe around noon, but not this damn early. Halfway out of the room my legs give out. "Here, let me carry you." I nod, wrapping one arm around his neck as he lifts me up. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath to steady my nerves, hating to be picked up. "Alaya, please open the door. Let's hope Leggy has a better sense of direction than the other Elves here!

* * *

"Ashley." I open my eyes and see Kharl. "It's time to go." I must've fallen asleep while Legolas carried me because I don't remember being laid down on my bed. I hold up a hand and my brother pulls me into a sitting position, trying not to laugh at my messy hair. After making sure I'll stay awake, he leaves so I can take a quick bath and get dressed in the dark brown pants, long-sleeved black shirt, and black Elven boots that were sitting at the foot of my bed.

Ten minutes later finds me running towards the others, pulling my hair back up into my clip. "Sorry guys," I say breathlessly. Boromir rolls his eyes with his arms crossed over his broad chest. And to think I thought he was attractive, well, he was in _National Treasure_; even in _The Hitcher_ where he was a murdering psychopath.

"Just another reason why we shouldn't have women accompany us," he states," they're slower." The look on Andrea's face signals my morning is about to be amazing-for this part at least. Her hands ball into fists, a dangerous light appearing in her eyes. Kharl notices and takes a step sideways from her, one of his hands gripping my wrist to keep me from joining her.

"And weaker too," Andrea asks sarcastically.

"Exactly." _Wrong answer, buddy boy_. The blonde jumps on him, beginning to punch his face repeatedly. "Don't. You. _EVER_. Say. That. Again!" She punctuates every word with a punch, each harder than the last until Aragorn pulls her off him and a hand over my mouth cuts off the encouragement I was sending Andi's way. I cross my arms, licking Kharl's hand and making him let me go.

"Are you calm," Aragorn asks, looking at both of us. I nod while rolling my eyes; Andrea shuts up and settles to simply send frightening glares in Boromir's direction, after a few seconds Aragorn lets her go. Elrond walks over to us, making sure to take his time and try to look dignified, and finally hands me two daggers, which I place in my belt and reluctantly thank him.

"Andrea, come up here," Gandalf instructs. "You will be the first to leave the city." She nods and walks up to the old man. Kharl stays beside me, untrusting of our companions.

"Watch this," I smile, levitating a stick, causing Boromir to trip and fall flat on his face. Kharl and I manage to keep a straight face as he glares at us. "Don't give me that look, minion." He scowls and begins to walk again.

"I don't like him," Kharl says, not bothering to lower his voice.

"Nobody does." We both smile at each other, the last to leave Rivendale as we make sure to be behind the others. He hates having his back to other people. I begin to hum, a happy look on my face.

"What'cha humming, sis?"

"Animal Crackers in my Soup." He chuckles, shaking his head at me. Here comes the part where he mocks my inner playlist.

"You're mental playlist stuck on it?" I knew it. He knows me way too well sometimes and it can be pretty uncomfortable.

"Nope, it just popped in there." He nods his understanding, beginning to hum a Shinedown song.

"Have you noticed the way Andrea looks at Aragorn." I look at my friend like he's a moron.

"Duh."

* * *

By midday we stop halfway up a mountain, the sun beating down on us; Sam is cooking, Andrea is learning how to fight with the sword Elrond gave her, Boromir, Merry, and Pip are practicing with their swords, Kharl is shooting trees, and I am levitating a pebble. _Up, down, up, down_.

"Ashley!" My pebble drops as I focus my attention on Pip.

"Yes?"

"Get him!" I run over to where they've got tackled Boromir to the ground, laying on his to make sure he can't get up.

"Not so strong now, are we," I smirk, standing above him with my hands on my hips.

"Oh shut up," he says chuckles, no longer _as_ despicable as I thought. I bend down and start to tickle Boromir, much to my surprise _he actually begins to laugh!_

"What is that," Andrea asks suddenly, putting her sword away. I look up and see a mass of black quickly heading in our direction

"Just a wisp of cloud," Gimli assures. Boromir stands up and looks at the sky.

"It's moving fast…against the wind," he says, unsure exactly what to think.

"Hide," Aragorn shouts. We all ran and hid amongst the rocks and leaves. Boromir pulls me and the hobbits down to hide with him just as bunch of bird-like things flew past us, or should I say, over us.

"Spies of Saruman," Gandalf tells us as we emerge from our hiding spots and back into the open air once the birds have gone. I walk over to Aragorn and Andrea.

"So, hiding together now and Aragorn is that drool I see," I tease.

"Ashley we didn't do anything," Andrea says, blushing.

"Don't worry I believe you... did something."


	7. He Said yes!

**~Andrea's PoV~**

I sigh for the hundredth time, looking at Aragorn. Is it possible for this man to look any better? He runs a hand through his thick hair. Oh yes, apparently there is and I _love_it! "Um, Andi," Ashley states, waving a hand in front of my face to capture my attention; I don't bother turning my head in her direction, eyes glued to the amazing display before me.

"What," I ask dreamily.

"You're drooling again." I shoot a glare at her, swiping the back of my hand across my mouth and finding nothing; lying asshole. "Why don't you just ask him out already?" I raise an eyebrow, mouth twisted into a frown. "Don't you give me the practice-what-you-preach look, little missy." I continue giving her the look until she has to glance away.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I'll admit I'm probably in denial, but at least I can hold eye contact for long periods of time.

"Aragorn; you want him, you desire him...He's the only person here that you don't have the near-uncontrollable urge to slap the ever living shit out of."

"Ha, lies—I want to slap everybody!" Aragorn looks over his shoulder at Ashley and me with an amused yet questioning look at me exclamation. "Um, these are not the droids you're looking for."

"Eyes on the trail," Ash tells Aragorn sternly," I know this isn't your first time leading people through the woods, but I don't feel like crashing into a tree because you were too busy checking out the blonde." Shaking his head, he faces forward again with a low chuckle that sent pleasant shivers down my spine.

"Can you _please_just shut up before you embarrass me any further," I tell her in a hissed whisper. I quickly realize my mistake the moment Ashley gets a devious light in her eyes and a toothy grin on her face.

"Aragorn," she calls, gaining the man's attention once more.

"What are you doing?"

"What you're too chicken to do."

"Yes, Ashley?" I look up at Aragorn fearfully, pulling Ashley away from him before she could say anything; quickly making my way over to Kharl with Ashley stumbling along behind me. "Such strange young women," Aragorn murmurs quietly, turning back around again. Kharl only has to take one look at my angry expression and Ashley's clueless one to figure out that Ashley did something she wasn't supposed to.

"Ashley, what did you do," he asks, continuing to walk so that we don't fall too far behind the others. Ashley gives him a devious smile, pulling at the edge of her shirt—a nervous habit she picked up at four-years-old. Kharl raises an eyebrow at his best friend, throwing his cigarette to the ground and grinding it into the dirt with the toe of his boot.

"I almost asked Aragorn out for Andrea," she finally answers with a shrug as if it was no big deal, but this is a huge deal and she's lucky she's still breathing.

"How'd it go?"

"I couldn't get a word out." He smirks at me as he walks over to Aragorn, casually draping an arm around the taller man's shoulders. Oh, Lord, please tell me he's not doing what I think he's doing!

"He's doing worse than I could do," Ashley tells me with a sympathetic smile," he's talking guy which means Aragorn can understand him." As if on cue, Aragorn smiles back at us; Ashley smiles and waves. She looks like a thief that's just gotten away with one of the biggest crimes of the century. She's gonna get it later. I squeeze the bridge of my nose and fighting back an Ashley-induced migraine. "Help bunny gain world domination!"

"Go bunny," Kharl cheers.

"Sometimes I worry about you, Lassie," Gimli smiles…I think he was smiling anyway—the beard kind of gets in the way. Aragorn begins to make his way over to me, Ashley making a point to leave me behind. The rest of the group decides to take a small break, so that the Hobbits can have a drink and rest their feet for a moment.

"Is what Kharl said true," he asks in his usual calm voice that had more of an effect on me than I liked to admit. I open and close my mouth a couple of times, looking like a fish out of water—Lord, I probably look like a complete moron!

"Um, well, you see," I stutter, looking for help in Ashley, but she's attempting to levitate a pebble or something; the tip of her tongue was sticking out, but she'd deny ever doing it later on. I call the expression her "thinkin' face". A slightly awkward silence descends as I try to find a way out. "Well, I-I, um perhaps...Ashley, come here!" The other woman looks at me over her shoulder and then skips over with a smile on her pale face.

"Yes, oh demanding one," she questions, bowing dramatically at the waist. I have to hide an amused smile, wanting to stay mad at her for bringing all this down on me. She's annoying when in a good mood; always wanting to make people laugh even when they just want to smack her upside the head.

"What do you do in awkward situations?" She grins excitedly at her almost foolproof plan.

"Poof, we be gone!" With that, she grabs my arm and pulls me away-running to hide behind a tree. "I told you that would work," she states proudly, arms crossed over her chest and chin raised proudly.

Neither of us was able to hear Aragorn's near silent approach and jump about five feet in the air when he speaks. "So what's your answer?" I let out an embarrassing squeak, turning around and finding myself getting an eyeful of Aragorn's clothed chest. Mm, yummy... Ashley makes a show of inspected an imaginary speck of lint on the sleeve of her shirt, looking away from us and stepping further behind the tree.

"Yes," I shout," yes, my answer is yes!" He looks a little shocked at my outburst, but says nothing about it.

"Good, so we'll start sword practice again tomorrow" I nod numbly, watching as he walks back over to talk with Gandalf. That was...not what I was expecting. I purse my lips in thought, head tilted slightly to the side as I continue to watch him move around the camp to make sure each of the members are doing okay and what not. Ashley steps up beside me, nodding slightly.

"He didn't say what kind of sword practice," Ashley points out with a smile. Her expression changes to one of intense curiosity and I hope it has nothing to do with me. "Kharl," she calls out, looking expectantly at the man she calls her brother.

"Yeah," he asks, walking over to us.

"What'd you say to Aragorn?"

"Well, I was going to ask him about Andrea, but I got distracted by his sword..." he trails off awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing down at his boots.

"Your secret is safe for now, Andi." _Good; wait, for now?_

"Yep." Kharl and Ashley walk away to rejoin the group that had begun moving again, talking about Scooby-Doo and rigging up a 'Scrappy Trap' to scare the hell out of Gandalf. For being in their twenties those two act a lot like toddlers! I shake my head, continuing to walk near the back of the group; not wanting to hear Gandalf's long speeches and unhelpful advice that would've done Frodo a lot better than it would me.

"Alone again," I mumble quietly, looking around at the trees I've never seen before and wondering what they're called. They're much larger than any I've ever seen, but the ones back where I'm from are often cut down for paper and never really get the chance to grow even half as tall as some of these…Poor trees. "Why can't they focus on one thing at a time," I ask myself, watching as my two friends bounce from person to person with questions that the others never get the chance to ask before Ash and Kharl are off again.

"Don't blame them, they're just distracted easily," Legolas comments, making me jump because I hadn't heard his approach. Is it so wrong to make a little noise when you walk so people can expect your ass?! "I was never told where you and your friends are from." I hesitate slightly, trying to remember exactly what we had told Aragorn earlier.

"Ask Ashley later." Maybe she'll stand a better chance to remember since she's the one that came up with it. He nods with a smile. Wow, he looks so much better as Will Turner or Balion from Kingdom of Heaven. "Do you like Ashley? I mean, like, more than a friend?" He smiles again as though he was recalling some kind of fond memory from his past.

"She reminds me of my friend's daughter." I nod my understanding, a little disappointed that I might not be able to sick him on her as revenge for her trying to set me up with the man of my dreams—well, the second man, the first one is Johnny Depp. "She's also very..." he trails off, thinking of which word to use and finally settles on one he'd heard me use a couple of hours ago. "...Hyper."

"She's always been like that, but it's gotten worse since we arrived the other day. I think it's her way to deal with all of this, you know, locking away what she's really feeling and acting like everything's hunky dory."

"It must be hard on all of you." I shrug and shake my head slowly. _I don't want to open up to this creeper!_

"Ashley and Kharl move around a lot, kind of like a brother/sister thing," I answer, leaving out the part that they move around a lot to kill monsters and sometimes other people; they don't know I know and I plan to keep it that way 'cause I like to see them squirm when I ask them difficult questions I already know the answers to. Legolas furrows his brow in confusion, tilting his head slightly as he looks over at me friends.

"They do not look alike." _Well, isn't he observant_, I think sarcastically with a tiny chuckle.

"They're not really brother and sister, but they pretty much grew up together."

"Yes, I can understand that." _Hmm, is he talking about Aragorn?_ We walk in silence for a while until Aragorn comes over to us. Ashley sends a devilish grin in my direction and I know what's about to happen—a kind of dread punching me in the gut.

"Hello," Aragorn greets, taking my hand without hesitation," Ashley told me you were interested in—what did she call it...dating? Is that true?" I might kill her if this doesn't end the way my fantasy does!

"Yes, I suppose," I nod, biting my bottom lip; once I realize I started biting my lip I abruptly stop. He smiles warmly at me. Oh boy, here comes the part where he says that we can only be friends because he's in love with that stupid elf that saved the dumb Hobbit.

"I would love to, my lady." Do what now?

"Really," I squeak, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. This is definitely _not_what I was expecting him to say, but it was better than the alternative so I guess Ashley can live to sleep through another day.

"Yes," he says with a laugh, giving my hand a light squeeze. _Ashley, he said yes!_

"I know," she replies, seeming to pop up out of nowhere. _How did you do that, O Weird One?_"Meh, I climbed that tree while you were distracted by Mister Kingly King." Aragorn raises an eyebrow, looking between Ashley and me curiously.

"Are you reading her thoughts?"

"You know it." He smiles and shakes his head in amusement.

"Of course you were." _I wonder what Aragorn would look like shirtless ..._

"Still am; Andrea, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Why?" We both look up at him; my look is of embarrassment and her's just that deviousness that never truly left her face for very long. I can't quite look in Aragorn's eyes, feeling myself blush and becoming even more embarrassed. _This is just plain wrong, I can't even fantasize about my dude shirtless without my friend calling me out on it._

"Ashley, don't you dare," I threaten, giving her my best evil eye.

She gives Aragorn a toothy grin," I know, you'll smite me 'til their ain't nothing left." Her voice is mocking, but holds a friendly quality that means she wouldn't even if she were feeling cruel. She leans forward to whisper in my ear. "He's thinking the same thing and it's kinda disturbing me."

"Well, that's always nice to know, but don't tell me that again or I might just s'pload from fangirl overload."

"Alright," she shrugs with a lazy smile.

"And stay out of trees, you're clumsy."

"No problem." She walks off and I notice Leggy following soon after with an intent look on his face. _Reminds him of a friend's daughter, my ass; how would he act if she just reminded him of a friend's friend? Sicko Elf Boy!_


	8. Small Talk and Ruined Romance

**~Ashley's Point of View~**

"Lady Ashley, hold on a moment," Legolas calls. I stop and look at the tall Elf over my shoulder with a bored expression.

"Hurry up." I lean against a large tree with my arms crosses—the very picture of bored impatience that not even Kharl could match. Legolas gives me a small smile, pale skin glowing in the low afternoon light; it's more blinding than my pale legs in direct sunlight. "Let's go, Elf-boy, time's a wastin'." His smile falters slightly as he looks back at Andrea, who gestures for him to go on without even glancing away from Aragorn. That woman has eyes in the side of her head or somethin'!

"Andrea told me to ask you were all of you are from originally," the elf says once finally reaching my side.

"A very small dot on the map called Twinkie," I answer automatically, no thought needed. He tilts his head to the side in confusion, obviously not knowing just what a Twinkie was or where one would find a box of 'em.

"A strange name for a strange place; it seems fitting," the elf smiles. _Legolas ain't exactly a normal name where I come from_, I think sarcastically_._ I shrug slightly, looking down at the ground so some secret hole in the trail wouldn't make me fall flat on my face. I am clumsy and there will be no changing that very sad fact no matter how much I try. "So, how long did it take you to travel to Rivendell?" I shrug, chancing to glance up at him for a split second and that was all it took for the tip of my boot to find a hole and for me to fall forward with a squeak. How did I know something like this would happen?

"Well, that's just great," I grumble into the dirt of the path, pushing myself up and onto my knees. Legolas offers me a hand up but I wave him off and finish standing by myself. I'm not overly fond of the elf, though I have absolutely no reason to trust him, I just can't bring myself to let down the walls like I do with Kharl, Andi, and sometimes Aragorn. He'll get my trust when he earns it, I guess. "Okay, no more observing while on this evil, evil path." Legolas chuckles, shaking his head slightly. "I don't see the funny here, elf-boy." I raise an eyebrow at him with my hands on my hips.

"Of course not," Leggy remarks," you were the one that tripped."

"And you're an ass." With that, I return to walking with my eyes on the ground, arms crossed over my chest as I fume silently to myself. Who was he to laugh at me when he doesn't even know me? He'll be lucky if I don't sick Andi on him later! Suddenly I find myself lying flat on my back on the hard ground, my breath driven out of my lungs and Kharl staring down at me with an amused half-smile. "This isn't a day I should be walking," I grumble, letting Kharl pull me up and drape an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm gonna guess this little trip isn't going well so far," he asks, glancing over at me. I shrug, beginning to bite my lip as I concentrate on not meeting the ground again—the third time would definitely _not _be a charm. "I bet staying away from that elf will make you feel a little better." He glares at Leggy over his shoulder, the elf taking on a shocked look before his sharp blue eyes dart around our surroundings again. I can't blame him, when Kharl's glaring at you it's hard to keep eye contact with him for long without feeling like a piece of trash. I roll my eyes at his brotherly protectiveness and jog to catch up with Andi and Aragorn; all without tripping, I'm very proud of that.

"What's up with grumpy," Andrea asks, sparing a glance behind her before moving her gaze back to me.

"He's just being himself, that's all."

"You sure?"

"Yippers."

"Yippers," Aragorn asks with some amusement at the new word.

Yippers," I nod with a smile and an extra skip in my step. Aragorn shrugs, he and Andi sharing a look that expressed more than either of them really wanted to say just yet. "I'll just leave you two lovebirds to yourselves and steal a piggy back ride from Boromir." Before Andi could say that they were, in fact, not lovebirds, I run and jump onto Boromir's back with a triumphant grin. "ONWARD, MY NOBLE STEED!" Boromir stumbles slightly before returning back to his slow walk that all of us were doing. "When I said onward I meant for your onward to be more...well, _onward _and not so slow."

He looks at me with a frown," This is the only onward speed you're going to get right now, woman." I shrug, resting my chin on his shoulder. "Why aren't you pestering one of the others?"

"It's your turn; don't you feel so _loved_?"

* * *

"Ow," I whimper as I stub my toe for the umpteenth time on some rock I couldn't see in the dark. That poor toe is gonna be black and blue in the morning, not to mention sore as heck. Nonetheless, I continue forward with a slight limp and my head down.

"Gandalf, perhaps we should stop for the night," Legolas suggests while supporting Merry. The old wizard nods his agreement and we all fall to the ground—we all being, Andrea, the Hobbits, and me. Legolas comes over and sits beside me. "Where is Kharl?" I don't answer him at first, looking around for my brother and not seeing him. Maybe he needed a pee break or something.

"I don't know I'm not his keeper." Leggy looks taken aback, blue eyes wide and mouth open slightly. "Why are you here anyway, elf-boy?" The elf flounders for a moment, obviously unused to being talked to in such a way.

"I—I came here to ask if you wanted to …" He trails off, scratching the back of his neck uncertainly. I raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to finish or run off into the sunset. "I was wondering if you might like to talk a walk with me."

"Well … Alright, I guess it'd be fine."

"Good, then we'll meet back here in five minutes?"

I shrug, walking over to Andrea and poking her arm. She looks up at me with an innocent smile. Oh yeah, that awkwardness with the elf was definitely her fault. "I get it, payback's a bitch." Her smile turns into a satisfied grin as she lounges back in her bedroll. "So, I have five minutes to spare—what do you think about Aragorn?"

"Hmm, he's really great," she sighs, eyes halfway closed," and he's not so clingy or nosey." I nod, listening to my friend and looking around the camp for anyone I could talk to that wasn't already passed out. "You should get yourself a boyfriend.

"Yeah, I'll just run down to the store and pick one up," I mumble, scooting closer to the roaring fire. The night was cold and cold and I do not like each other especially well. "Welp, here comes your man so I'll just go and—"Andi grabs my arm and pulls me back onto my ass without even bothering to look at me. "Mother of God, you really _do _have eyes in the side of your head!" Aragorn chuckles as he sits next to Andi on his own bedroll. "You better watch out, Aragorn, you won't have any secrets when she's finished with ya."

"I don't see why that would be a problem," he shrugs.

"Hmm, maybe you'll be the one she keeps." Before Andrea had the chance to smack the crap out of me, I jump to my feet and walk over to the place I said I'd meet Legolas.

"Hello," he greets," are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I shrug. He smiles and offers me his arm. I can't help but wonder how many people have fallen for that seemingly innocent smile as I place my hand in the crook of his elbow. The two of us walk in silence for a few minutes until we were well out of hearing range of the others; we stop in a wide clearing with a few flowers that I'd never seen before and a couple medium-sized boulders. Legolas helps me up onto one of them, following directly behind me. I look up at the sky, noticing how much clearer it was without all the pollution dulling it—the stars seemed brighter than ever. "It's beautiful here."

"Ashley?" I turn to face him and am shocked when I notice his eyes on my lips. He leans forward slowly, but before he can make contact I hold up my hand and push it hard against his forehead to keep him at bay.

"Nice try, slick, but you're gonna need a better strategy than stargazing to lure me into your web of seduction." With an arrogant smirk, I head back to the group, not tripping once and ready for sleep.


	9. Stupid Mountain, Annoying Elf

~Andrea's Point of View~

_Aragorn is a good kisser_, I think to myself with a small giggle. "Goodnight," Aragorn tells me softly, brushing some of my blonde hair off of my face and behind my ear. "Good night," Aragorn tells me softly, placing a brief kiss on my forehead. I smile up at him before snuggling down into my bedroll and falling into a deep and needed slumber.

* * *

I wake to a sharp kick to my thigh; delivered by a very grumpy looking Ashley. "What the _hell _do you want," I ask through clenched teeth—my glare threatening to freeze water. There had better be a good, and I mean _good_, reason for her waking me up so early; like we're about to be trampled by Wargs or something.

"Get up," she growls, pulling on my arm. I push her away from me with a snarl, pulling my pillow closer to me. "Come on, jackass, not all of us have Aragorn to snuggle with so you have no excuse to be cranky." I slowly rise to my feet, stretching and sighing as my back pops.

"I'm sure Legolas wouldn't have minded your company." She turns around and glares at me, hands balled into fists and her face flushed a dark, tomato red.

"I haven't had a Mountain Dew since we got here; _do not _press your luck." She turns back around and storms away, grumbling something under her breath about stupid people and '_what kind of back-ass-wards world don't have no Mountain Dew?_' Yeah, this is going to be one of those days to avoid the auburn mass of destruction.

"Is she always so cheery," Aragorn asks with a smile. _Hey, it's too early for manly-man to be freaking sarcastic!_

_Maybe_. I jump at Ashley's familiar voice, looking around to find her.

_Ashley, where are you hiding at and why is Aragorn lookin' at me funky?_

_Wait ... can you hear me? _At my affirmative thought she continues, _Andi, I thought the maybe_.

"What was that all about," Aragorn asks, not noticing my little freak out session; brows furrowed in confusion.

"N-nothing." He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head disbelievingly.

"What is wrong with Ashley?"

"She's not a morning person."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Ah, well, where we come from she had this stuff she drank and it woke her up and made her hyper." Before Aragorn could say anything we hear Ashley screaming. Aragorn and I pull out our swords and run to where Ashley is hanging upside down from a rope by her feet and holding onto two backpacks. "Ashley what'd you do?"

"Um … Not much … I found stuff—the blue bag is yours and the purple one is mine." She pauses a moment, face taking on a thoughtful look. "I don't know whose rope this is." I roll my eyes, helping Aragorn and Leggy get her down and then steady her. "We may survive this after all; my bag had books, my iPod, my Walter P22 with the appropriate ammo, and some pop. Yours has some of your books, your phone, and, um, makeup; boy, the forces at be sure know your ass." I snatch the dark blue, plaid bag out of her hands and look through it; proud to find the makeup I almost couldn't live without.

"Ladies," Gandalf states," time for us to depart."

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~TWO HOURS LATER~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

I never thought I could hate cold and snow so much, but this trip has proven me wrong. "You've been thinking that since we started climbing, please, for the love of God, shut up," Ash yells over the howl of the wind, voice shaky. _Well, stop listening to my damn thoughts! _"Then stop thinking so loud!" I glare at the back of her head, arms wrapped around me as meager protection from the cold; the piles of snow came to around my belly button and more was still falling from the sky. Jeez, I should've just stayed at my house all those days ago; I could be curled up in my chair right now, watching reruns of Criminal Minds and eating cookies or something! I stumble from some hidden rock, Aragorn quickly reaching out to steady me while using the other to hold onto a Hobbit.

Up ahead I can barely make out Legolas; paused as if listening to something I can't hear. "I hear a fell voice on the air," he calls out urgently.

"It's Saruman," Gandalf shouts. _Son of a bitch, why can't he interfere later? _Rocks from the mountain above us begin to rain down in an avalanche that could easily kill any one of us. "He's trying to bring down the mountain!" _No shit, really, I couldn't_ _tell_, I think sarcastically with a roll of my raises his staff and begins to chant in a different language while Saruman begins to chant louder and the rest of us can actually hear him now just in time for lightening to strike the mountain and start a large avalanche that covers all of us in layers of suffocating snow.

Blindly, I start to try and dig my way out of the snow, oxygen beginning to diminish in my panic. _I can't die like this, God, please let me live a while longer_, I pray silently, feeling as though I would never get out. A hand pulls me up and over so that I was on my stomach, pounding on my back and forcing snow out of my throat for me to breathe. "You okay," Kharl asks breathlessly. I nod, coughing and looking around at the others.

"We must get off the mountain," Boromir shouts, holding tightly to Pippin and Merry," it will be the death of the Hobbits! We can make for the Gap of Rohan!"

"That would take us too close to Isengard," Aragorn shouts back, looking around for someone almost desperately while holding onto Sam.

"Let the Ring-bearer decide," Gandalf states with a worried look in his eyes as he glances over at my shivering form; gripping his staff tighter in his hand and giving me a look that seemed to beg me to choose the right way.

Remembering a little bit of this part I instantly say," Moria, we'll go through Moria." Gandalf nods solemnly and we start back down the mountain; more carefully this time. _Back down the stupid mountain we go. Wait. Why isn't Ashley bothering me? _I look over my shoulder and see Legolas carrying her; Ashley's eyes are closed and she isn't putting up any sort of struggle—she's been knocked unconscious.

"Is she okay," I ask Kharl.

"She'll be fine," he nods, holding onto my arms to keep me steady.

* * *

I walk near the front of the group with Gandalf, every now and again glancing over at Aragorn with a slight smile. "I haven't had much time to ask," Gandalf starts softly, looking down at me," how have you been feeling under the Ring's darkness?" Gandalf stops and holds onto my wrist to stop me as well.

"It hasn't been too bad, I guess; could be way worse."

"Andrea, I want you to know that you should always trust your instincts and not very many other people; even those in the fellowship." I stare at him with a deadpan look for a few minutes, wishing more than anything that I could just smack his forehead with his staff. Boromir passes us and Gandalf's eyes trail after him as if Boromir was the prime suspect in a murder case.

"You got it, Gandy," I say, giving the wizard a mock salute and jogging to catch up with Pip and Merry. _Looks like I just came up with a good nickname for Gandalf_, I think smugly, an extra skip in my step.

"The Walls of Moria!" I glance over at Gimli's wonder struck face with annoyance. It was hard enough to teach the Hobbits how to play hopscotch without the Dwarf yelling and distracting them! Grumbling under my breath, I turn back to the Hobbits only to see the cavern wall; the Hobbits had already lost interest and began bombarding Boromir with questions about what quests he's been on. With a sigh, I plop down on a large rock—there was nothing to do now that I'd lost the Hobbits and the person I argue with got herself knocked out. "Dwarf doors are invisible when closed."

"Yes, their own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten," Gandalf nods in approval.

"Why doesn't that surprise me," Legolas quips. A weird noise somewhere between a groan and a growl escapes Ashley as she shakes her head slightly.

"Shut up Elf-boy," Ashley grumbles. "Some people like to hear themselves sleep."

"You mean think," Kharl asks with amusement in his voice as he looks over at his sister and I get to my feet.

"Nope, I was having an awesome dream and he interrupted it." With an annoyed sigh, she punches Leggy in the throat (something she's always wanted to try) and lands on her butt on the rocky ground. "Son of a bitch, I think I broke my booty," she whines, rubbing said body part as she slowly gets back on her feet. "I'm not gonna sit right for a week."

"Don't be such a baby," I smirk. My foot slips off the rock I had it on and into the murky water of the large lake beside me. "Ew," I groan, shaking my foot in an attempt to get the moss and dirty water off. Ash snorts as she comes to stand next to me, dark eyes laughing as though saying _now who's the baby_? The cavern we're in brightens slightly as the clouds that had been in front of the moon move away. On the wall, silver designs begin to appear in the shape of a grand door with writing over the top of it.

"It reads," Gandalf says before anyone could ask," the door of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter."

"I wonder how long it'll take 'em to figure out it's _mellon_," Ash whispers to me in a sneaky tone."

"How do you know," I ask, eyebrows scrunching together. She is the last person I would ask to solve an important riddle because she sucks at them as bad as she sucks at speaking in front of a crowd of people.

"Kharl told me; he's the master of riddles." _Oh yeah_, _I'd forgotten about that_. "Besides, I studied Elvish in college." I give her a look, my eyebrow raised. "Yeah, I couldn't believe they had that class either, but I wasn't about to pass it up." She still looked a bit peeved from waking up in the Elf's arms and Gandy yelling at Pippin seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. With her hands clenched into fists, she storms over to where Gandy is standing.

"Listen, old man, just because you're too stupid to figure out the password doesn't mean you can go and yell at Pippin! Next time _you'll _b the one on the ground holding his throat!" She turns to the door. "Mellon!" The door opens and everyone stares at her, shocked—except for me and Kharl, of course; we know not to poke the bear with a stick too often.

"She has a temper," Kharl says by way of answer, shrugging," blame the Irish in 'er." I nod and follow everyone inside, a small, satisfied smile on my face. Ash standing up for herself is rare, but when it happens and she loses her temper I like to think I taught her everything

"Soon you'll know the hospitality of the Dwarves," Gimli says proudly, trying to forget what had just happened, "Roaring fires, malt beer, and ripe meat off the bone! This is my cousin, Balin's home. They call it a mine."

"This is no mine," says Boromir, looking down in disgust," This is a tomb." Curious, I follow his gaze and meet…

"Zombies," Ash yells, pulling a Scooby-Doo and jumping into Aragorn's arms.

"They're skeletons, dipshit."


	10. Why Can't we Have Cave-trolls?

~Ashley's Point of View~

"Oh, my G—" Andrea slaps a hand over my mouth before I could finish my sentence, her light blue eyes as wide as my dark ones. Arrows are stuck in the remains of what used to be Dwarves, quickly identified as Goblin arrows. I pull my pistol out of the back waistband of my pants, making sure the safety was off and there was a bullet in the chamber. Goblins don't stand a chance against consecrated iron rounds—these suckers can bring damn near anything down! Andi suddenly falls onto the hard ground with a gasp, a tentacle wrapped around one of her ankles and dragging her backwards to the lake. "We've got Nessie," I shout, making Kharl spin on his heel with the rifle he brought with him in hand. The others that have swords pull them out while we try to keep the Hobbits back lest they get hurt and cause us more problems. "Andi, stop floppin' around; I don't have a clean shot!"

Aragorn rushes forward and severs the tentacle, helping me to pull the blonde to safety. "You don't have a clean shot," she screams, hands balled into fists," you don't shoot at something that's holding your friend hostage!" I push Andi out of the way and raise my pistol, firing rapidly at the tentacles that had surfaced, one eye squeezed shut and my tongue barely poking out as I concentrate on what I am doing. Shooting is like a second nature for me—my dad used to joke that I took to it like a duck takes to water. One tentacle that had managed to escape being attacks picks Andi up again, hauling her high in the air. I lower my pistol hesitantly, biting my lower lip as I zone in on the tentacle. _Up_, I think with as much command as I could manage. _Up, you slimy bastard_! Slowly but surely, the creature hiding under the water begins to rise, letting out a God awful screeching noise and dropping Andrea in its panic. Boromir catches Andi before she can touch the water, running towards the shore.

"Into the mines," Gandalf shouts, waving towards the entrance with his staff.

Our little Fellowship does as commanded, Kharl grabbing my arm and practically dragging me after him; not too long after we're all inside does Nessie make the entrance cave in and blackness surround us. "Oh hell," I whimper quietly as my claustrophobia begins to kick in," why did it have to be a cave?" Struggling to breathe, I curl up into a ball and rest my forehead against my knees. Boromir crouches next to me, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"Breathe in deeply, in your nose and out your mouth." I try and do what he suggested to no avail; my breathing becoming more erratic and hard to catch.

Kharl pushes Boromir out of the way with a scowl as he pulls a pill bottle out of his pants pocket; one that he always carries in case of times like this. The Albuterol pill is the only thing that works when I start to have an asthma attack or something of the like. I snatch the little pill out of my brother's hand and swallow it quickly, waiting desperately for it to start to work. When my heart begins to beat rapidly in my chest, my breathing begins to even out again—a good sign that my asthma was receding and I could focus again. "Maybe you shouldn't walk," Legolas says, taking a small step towards me. Kharl stands in his way with a glare on his face.

"She's fine, Elf," he spits, not moving.

"I am just trying to—"

"I don't give a flying fuck what you're trying to do, I said she's fine." Leggy's face draws into a deep frown and I know that if someone doesn't step in soon we'll have a full out murder going on. Just as the Elf opens his mouth with a retort I cut him off with a response of my own.

"I really don't care," I snarl," we're trapped in a damn cave and if you two don't knock it off I will take Kharl's Duct tape and tape you both together!"

"How do you know I have Duct tape?"

"Well, 'cause you're Kharl."

"Damn right I am," he smirks, pulling a roll out of the ever-present backpack on his shoulders and hiding it quickly when he notices the glare I send in his direction. The glow emanating from Gandalf's staff casts an eerie light in the cavern, only adding to the effect of my anger. Clearing his throat he asks," Are we gonna get going anytime soon?"

"Be on your guard," the Wizard warns as he steps between the Elf and Kharl," there are fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world." Kharl and Legolas glare at each other as we start moving, but are wise to keep their mouths shut; especially since they are annoying both Andi and me. "Quickly, now… It's a four day journey to the other side; we should hope that we can pass by unnoticed." _Unnoticed by what? It's obvious that whatever happened here happened long ago._ Shrugging, I keep my eyes on the bridge we're on, almost positive that it would collapse under me at any moment and send me falling into the darkness below.

_Good lord, do my feet hurt! _We've been walking for what seems like hours and so far there's been no real indicator that we're anywhere near the end and I'm ready to collapse. "The wealth of Moria was not in gold or jewels, but in Mithril," Gandalf informs us, touching something shiny on the walls. The crystal on his staff brightens and illuminates the mine, showing us walls upon walls of the shiny substance. My eyes widen, having never seen so much wealth in my life; and I've broken in to some pretty elite museums in my time.

"Oh...Shiny," Andrea and I say in unison, running our hands over the smooth walls in awe. Gandy nods and smiles before leading us further into the mine; I am reminded of the Hobbit when it describes all the gold and jewels and trinkets before Bilbo wakes Smaug by taking a cup back to the Dwarves.

"My old friend Bilbo was given a shirt of Mithril rings; Thorin Oakenshield thought he had earned it, and indeed he had."

"Oh, that was a Kingly gift," Gimli states with pride for his ancestor.

"Yes it was; one worth more than the Shire itself." My eyes widen slightly, picturing the rolling hills and grassy meadows of the Shire with a longing to be there and far away from this death trap. Our group starts up some treacherous looking stairs with twin groans coming from Pip and me. About halfway up the steep stairs, one of the steps crumbles under Pippin's feet and nearly sends the small hobbit tumbling down if not for Merry catching him at the last moment.

"Careful, Pip," I tell him, looking back over my shoulder before continuing to climb. The so-called steps were basically a stone ladder because they steadily went straight up in the air instead of at an incline. When I finally reach the top I notice Gandalf's confused stare as he continues to look around. "Oh hell, what is it now, Gandy?"

"I do not remember this place."

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~LATER THAT NIGHT~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

I lean back against one of the larger rocks in the room, staring morosely down at the book I could just barely read in the semi darkness. "Are we lost," Pippin asks quietly.

"No," Merry hisses back at him.

"I think we are."

"Shh, Gandalf's thinking."

"Merry?"

"What?!"

"I'm hungry." My stomach gives a small rumble, agreeing with what Pippin had just said. I'm starving and could do with a pickle right about now—oh, or those ranch pork chop thingies… Mmm, food…. Leggy sits down next to me, giving me a friendly smile as I put my book back into my bag.

"How are you feeling," he asks.

"Fine, I guess," I shrug, looking anywhere but at him. It was still kind of awkward around him after the almost kiss we'd shared what feels like a thousand years ago. Only a few weeks back had I been comfortable in my home, studying for my final and getting graduation stuff in order, now I'm on a quest and if I ever get back home no one will believe me!

"You look pale."

"I'm always pale." The elf chuckles slightly, nodding his head and looking out into the darkness that Gandy's staff couldn't reach. I see Andi get up and walk over to Gandalf out of the corner of my eye, but pay no attention to it—it's only natural that she be curious about what carrying the Ring entails and who better to bug than the old geezer that thinks he knows every damn thing there is to know?

"Ah," Gandy says happily," it's that way." I look up at the wizard, raising an eyebrow in doubt. "Do not give me that look Ashley Callaghan; I know exactly which way I am going." Aragorn smiles at that, giving me a teasing look.

"You have remembered," Sam says confidently.

"No Sammy, it just smells better down here," Andrea explains, following Gandy down the passageway.

The next room we enter is huge with large columns and Dwarfish runes carved into the stone. "Behold the great realm and Dwarf-city of Dwarrowdelf." We continue to walk through the many great halls of the city, all of us marveling at the sheer size of the place. We do, that is, until Gimli spots something that sends him running forward in a panic. "Gimli!"

"No…No," Gimli cries, falling to his knees in front a stone coffin, "No!"

"Here lies Balin," Gandalf reads," son of Fundin, Lord of Moria; he is dead then, it's as I feared." I suck in a deep breath—Balin having been one of my favorite Dwarves in The Hobbit. With my eyes closed tightly, I focus solely on trying not to get sick at all the death that surrounds this place, nearly jumping out of my skin when I hear a series of loud, echoing thumps followed by silence, and then Gandalf yelling at Pippin. With a growl, I step and Gandy's foot as hard as I could until Aragorn drags me away. Everyone falls silent afterwards, but we all go on high alert when loud _booms_ are heard echoing throughout the mine like drums. Maybe that's what they are, war drums—and then the sounds of horns blaring and running footsteps hurrying to where we are.

"Orcs," Legolas states, hearing them.

"Get back," Aragorn commands, pushing the hobbits, Andi, and me back," stay close to Gandalf." Aragorn, Leggy, and Boromir rush forward to barricade the door; Boromir peeking through a crack to see just what we're going up against.

"They have a Cave-troll," Boromir informs us in a slightly worried tone.

"Why the hell can't we have one of those," I shout, pulling my P-22 out of the back waistband of my breeches," think of all the damage we could do!" Andrea nods in agreement, unsheathing her sword and giving it a couple of test swipes.

"This might kill us," Kharl says, moving to stand next to me, fighting back a grin. I let out a breathless laugh—adrenaline already rushing through my veins. "At least it won't be in some boring way like—"

"—like slipping on a banana peel?" With matching grins we face the door expectantly as the rotted wood is slowly broken away. Leggy and Aragorn fire arrows through the holes in the door, obviously hitting some of the creatures because we heard loud screeches every time an arrow went through. The double doors burst open, Orcs pouring inside with shields, axes, and swords—all crudely made and probably will cause a case of tetanus if you're scratched by one. I hop onto the coffin next to Gimli, letting out my own war yell as I begin firing at the ugly bastards. I've never been in a battle this large before and I gotta say, it's pretty freaking fun if you don't get killed, seriously injured, or a case of Rabies! "Let's go, bitches, I can do this all day!" _Hmm, maybe it's night time now_. Everything seems to slow down slightly when a huge creature bursts into the room, taking part of one of the doors out with him: The cave-troll. It lets out a God awful roar as it raises a giant hammer and slams it down to the ground, narrowly missing Sam's small body.

Vibrating with pure rage and adrenaline, I jump down into the fray, tossing Andi my pistol and pulling out a dagger as I fight my way through the crowd to the long chain dangling from around the cave-trolls thick neck. Boromir and Aragorn had already been tossed away, but the troll didn't notice me as I climbed up the chain and onto the top of his head. "Don't...You...Hurt...My...Hobbit," I yell, each word punctuated by a stab from the dagger. Growling, the troll grasps me in one of its hands and tosses me through the air and against one of the walls. Sam pulls me to my feet, one of his small hands clutching an iron frying pan and smacking Orcs in the face.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this," he states proudly, using the pan to knock out another Orc. Laughing, I pat his shoulder and pick my dagger back up, using my shirt sleeve to wipe some blood off my face before it could get in my eyes and blind me. "Are you alright, Miss Ashley?"

"Never been better." I hop a couple of times, trying to get my energy going again before I run back into the fight.

"Aragorn, Aragorn!" The frightened shouts makes my head snap to the side, looking for Andrea and spotting her being dragged by the troll. With a frustrated growl, I slit the throat of the Orc in front of me and begin to slowly make my way over to her, noticing Aragorn doing the same. I get there in time to see the troll raise the spear Aragorn uses to hunt with, ready to plunge it into Andi. I levitate the monster before it gets the chance to follow through with its plans though, and concentrate on tossing it across the room onto the last of the Orcs that were heading this way. "Thanks," she says breathlessly, using a pillar to stand up a little shakily. I nod, bending over with my hands on my knees. It had been a brutal fight, but my team had come out on top and that's what really mattered right now. None of us get much time to rest before the screeching of Goblins fills the halls and we're running off again towards the Bride of Khazad-dûm. A large crowd of Goblins form and begin to chase after us, their constant screeching grating on my nerves to the point I was ready to turn around and screech back just as loud.

It doesn't take long for them to have us surrounded on all sides, pointing weapons and grinning maliciously. "This is still better than slipping on a banana peel, I suppose." I give Kharl an amused look, gripping my dagger and taking my pistol back from Andi. She would only use it if her sword was taken and the Goblin hoard had all turned on her. A monstrous growl drowns out the Goblins and whatever Kharl said next, an orange glow coming from a far doorway, reminding me of the scene out of _The Hobbit _when Smaug breathes fire into the tunnel Bilbo's running down. Whatever made the noise is obviously feared by the Goblins because the moment the sound is heard they scatter with shrieks of terror. "That's probably not a good thing, is it?" All of us turn to face the glowing doorway with apprehension. I doubt it's a random Dwarf with a lantern that's willing to give us cake and show us a secret city where all the other Dwarves have been living. The glow begins to stretch down the hall towards us, and unconsciously, I move a little closer to Aragorn.

"A Balrog," Gandalf says grimly," a demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you; run!" We turn back the way we'd came, sprinting to some new doorway and down some stairs, Boromir holding tightly to one of my arms-it doesn't help that Boromir nearly falls when the stairs suddenly end there's nothing below but a long fall and what could possibly be lava.

"Crap, man, if you have a death wish don't drag me down with you!" Leggy helps the both of us back to safe ground, sending a worried look over his shoulder. our group follows Aragorn down a different set of stairs, heading for a bridge I could just make out in the distance. I have bad eye-sight in general, but trying to see things far away in a dark cavern don't help any. Once on the bridge our group stops suddenly when we see a huge gap missing; all except Leggy, of course, his ass keeps running, grabs my arm, and jumps to the other side. I pull my arm out of his grasp, turning to face the others. "Throw me a Hobbit!" Boromir picks up Pippin, and tosses him to me. I catch Pip and set him down, turning around again to see if I could get any of the others, but Gandy's beat me to the punch and jumped himself, barely missing being hit by a Goblin arrow. They crowded around the walls and fired at us, one arrow embedding itself in the ground by my foot.

Boromir picks up Sam and Merry before making the jump, more of the bridge behind them crumbling away to make the gap wider. Gimli jumps next and would have fallen if Leggy hadn't grabbed onto his beard and pulled him up. I wince, knowing that would hurt like hell; it mainly hurt Gimli's pride, I'm sure. More chunks of the bridge fall away, making it impossible for Aragorn and Andi to make it to our side. After another growl from the Balrog, stone from the ceiling falls down and crashes through the bridge behind Andi and Aragorn, making the blonde scream and Aragorn hold her closer to him. Aragorn leans forward as the piece they're on begins to fall forward towards us, the two of them falling forward when their side hits ours. We run soon after for a sturdier spot, but do not get very far before the Balrog finally shows itself: a horrid, black creature that reminded me of the bad guy from Samurai Jack. All but Gandalf make it to the other side of a new bridge; Gandy stops not even halfway over and turns to face the demon.

"You cannot pass," he shouts," I am a member of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you..." The creature shoots fire at Gandalf but a glowing, white light prevents it from reaching him. "...flame of Udûn! Go back to the shadow." The creature takes a step forward, brandishing a whip of fire. "You shall not pass!" Gandalf brings his staff and sword together, slamming them down onto the bridge and a bright light explodes from it, making the Balrog take a step back. the next time it tries to go forward, the bridge collapses under it. Gandalf turns his back to it with a sigh and the Balrog's whip wraps around his ankle, forcing the old man onto his stomach and dragging him to the very edge where Gandalf finds something to hold on to. "Fly, you fools," he hisses before his dragged into the unending blackness below.

Feeling almost numb with shock, I allow someone to pull me out of the cavern and outside to a boulder half sticking out of the ground to sit down on. I hadn't experienced a death of someone close since my cousin's car accident last summer. "It's time to go," Kharl whispers, brushing some of my tangled hair off my face in a soothing gesture," Can you walk?" I nod and he helps me to stand, the reality of the situation hitting me as we begin to run again.


	11. Eyes of a bat, ears of a Dwarf

~Andrea's Point of View~

As we run across the plains towards a thickly wooded area I can't help but think that, without Gandalf, we'll not know where to go after this. The light won't last much longer and I feel like I just got hit by about three trucks, so I hope that forest is safe enough to get some sleep in. With all of us sprinting, it doesn't take too long to reach the forest, the leaves above us are golden and bright, as though they felt no grief at Gandalf's passing like I know the Hobbits and Aragorn do. "Lothlorien," Leggy smiles," the fairest of all the dwellings of my people; there are no trees like the trees of this land, for in autumn the leaves fall not, but turn to gold." _Lothlorien; isn't this where Galadriel lives? _With a shrug, I continue walking over the flower-strewn pathway and taking in the beauty of the place. There's nothing like this back home—I hope I remember it when we all go back.

Ever the pessimist, Gimli spins a completely different tale. "Stay close, young Hobbits...they say a great sorceress lives in these woods. An Elf-witch of terrible power, all who look upon her fall under her spell..." _Andrea... _I jump at the unfamiliar voice in my head, looking around for the source. _Your coming is the footsteps of doom, Ring-bearer. _"Well, here's one Dwarf she won't get so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!" Elves suddenly surround us, pointing their bows at face height.

"Um, Gimli," Kharl asks sarcastically," Are those eyes and ears in your pocket?" An Elf steps forward, an arrogant look on his face.

"The Dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark," he says snidely. I glance over at Ashley to see if she was still numb-looking, but instead find her giving the Elf a grin, bottom lip between her teeth, and one hand grasping some of her hair and she sways slightly from side to side. Oh damn, she's got it bad for this one! The Elf's blue eyes land on us, one of his eyebrows quirking up in interest. "May I ask your name, my lady," he asks Ash.

"Um, Ashley," she whispers, eyes dropping to her boots. Aragorn's eyes narrow slightly and his hand twitches towards his dagger. What's his problem? The Elf nods to the other Elves and they lower their bows. "Heh, sexy person talkin' to me—Andi do you see this?" the Elf smiles at that, his ego shooting through the roof. I'm sure that's all he needed. Aragorn chooses that moment to step in and introduce himself, dragging Legolas along with him as the three of them begin a conversation in Elvish. Ashley turns to face me, a big grin on her face.

"What's his name again," I ask.

"I have absolutely no idea, but he's one _sexy _Elf," Ashley whispers back with a giggle. Oh Lord, when she giggles that means she really likes the person and I'll have to ask him out for her because she's too shy to do it. "Hmm, wait a sec, I think his name starts with, like, an H or something. Ummm," she draws out the word as she thinks, squeezing her eyes shut," Haldir, that's it."

"So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves," Gimli grumbles loudly," Speak words we can all understand!" _Ashley, get him to shut up! _Ash glares down at the Dwarf, kicking him lightly.

"We have not had dealings with the Dwarves since the Dark Days," Haldir sneers, all of his D's seem to come out in a derogatory manner. We'll have to work on that.

"And you know what this Dwarf says to that; ishkhaqwi ai durugnul!"

"Seriously," I growl," I will hang you in a tree by your feet if you don't shut your trap!" That seems to do the trick of shutting everyone up and I can't help the smug grin that appears on my face. Oh yeah, I am that good. Haldir's gaze moves over to me, the serious look not leaving his eyes.

"You bring great evil with you," he says to me before turning to face Aragorn," you can go no further." He walks away from us without so much as a glance over his shoulder. Ash and I share a disappointed look. _I don't like that Elf!_

"Well, you are kind of evil," Ashley says. _Hey!_ "Just embrace it."

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~LATER~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

After chasing those damn Elves down, we finally managed to convince him to listen to what Aragorn has to say—_we_ being Ashley, _convince_ meaning they're going on a walk later. After a few minutes of quiet arguing, me about ready to tell Ash to go promise a little more, Haldir finally approaches our group and tells us to follow him. _About damn time_! I walk beside Aragorn, making sure to keep a tight grip on his hand. When I notice him grimacing from time to time I look down and see that his hand is a light shade of purple. "Oops, sorry," I apologize, bringing his hurt hand up to my lips and placing a kiss on it. "Where is he leading us?"

"To his camp, we will enter the main city tomorrow." There is sadness in his voice and I catch him looking around periodically, his eyes landing on where Ashley is walking by herself. I look around at the others; Kharl is talking to Gimli, Haldir is at the head of the group, Legolas is walking next to Boromir and talking nonstop, and Boromir looks like he's trying really hard not to push the Elf away. _Hmm, why does Kharl hate Leggy, Ash?_

"Heck if I know, ask him yourself," she answers out loud, gaining some strange looks from the Lothlorien Elves walking behind us. Ashley's calm expression changes to one of annoyance as she looks at Kharl. "I read minds you dip shit," she calls to him," and if you keep thinking that, I'll let Leggy shoot you in the foot with an arrow!"

"What," Aragorn asks, brows furrowing.

"He keeps day-dreaming about killing Blondie over there."

"Me," Boromir asks.

"No—the other—um, Elf-boy; don't give me that look, Gimli." Haldir raises and eyebrow and she shrugs. We come to a clearing surrounded by tall trees with winding stairs leading up to what I believe Elves call talons. "Are we sleepin' up there?"

"That we are, Ashley," Haldir answers, taking one of her hands in his and bringing it up to his mouth to place a kiss on her knuckles. "I do not think we've been properly introduced; I am Haldir, March Warden of Lothlorien."

"I don't know what that means," Ash responds in a dreamy voice," but it sounds important and your face is pretty." Aragorn glares at Haldir, shuffling from foot to foot. "Um, I'm Ashley Callaghan, Whovian and one of the biggest geeks in this place." She giggles again, making Haldir smile and Aragorn grind his teeth together. Seriously, is he gonna throw a tantrum or something?

"It is late," Aragorn says through clenched teeth," and we are all very tired."

"Of course," Haldir nods," feel free to choose any talon you like." After a brief look between Legolas and Aragorn, the Elf pushes Pippin forward after whispering something in his ear.

"Ashley," the Hobbit asks," would you like to share a talon with Merry, Sam, and me?"

"Sure," she shrugs, following them to one of the trees and climbing the stairs. Aragorn and I share a talon with a couple other Elves that weren't on watch duty yet; Leggy and Boromir share a talon; Kharl and Gimli share a talon; and the other Elves stay in the clearing to keep watch in case Orcs manage to get in and find us.

* * *

The next morning we enter a huge room where we would meet the rulers of this place: Galadriel (the Human Light Bulb) and Celeborn. As said pair were walking gracefully down the stairs towards us, Galadriel steps on the edge of her gown and trips, falling down the stairs in the same chaotic way Ash thought I would when exiting the tech bus on crutches. Seeing it from this point of view was funny as hell and the only thing keeping Ashley and me from laughing our asses off was the glare Haldir sent our way—once she manages to compose herself, Aragorn and Legolas nod their heads in respect; Aragorn bringing a hand up to his heart in a gesture of loyalty. "The enemy knows you have entered here," Celeborn tells us," what hope you had in secrecy is now lost." Ha, I don't even know what secrecy is anymore! "Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him."

"Dead," Kharl shrugs, hands stuffed in his pockets as he leans nonchalantly against one of the pillars. At the reprimanding look Boromir sends his way Kharl shrugs again. "What, just telling it like it is; not gonna sugarcoat it for anyone no matter how damn fancy they are." Galadriel begins to make her speech about the fellowship being on the edge of a knife and I slowly zone out. I've never really like her for some reason, maybe it's because she reminds me of a female version of Gandy. _Welcome, Andrea of the Old World...One who has seen the eye. _I snap my head up when I hear her voice in my head, hands clenched into fists. I don't even like it when Ash does that let alone a complete stranger!

"If you don't mind," Ash says in a threatening tone," I think your voice is annoying enough out here, I would really appreciate it if you would stay out of my head." Her dark eyes are narrowed and I can only assume that Galadriel had given her the same greeting as she did me.

"Temper, Larien," Galadriel speaks in a soft voice that would make most people feel safe and warm. With a shriek, Ashley lunges forward, arms outstretched to take the Human Light Bulb down; fortunately for Galadriel, Haldir manages to grab Ashley and quickly covers her mouth with his hand. She grumbles a few choice words into the Elf's hand before finally relaxing. _You're gonna get us kicked out_, I mentally scream at her.

_Haldir...Holding...Mental sigh. _"Perhaps it is time for you and your companion to get some rest, you all must be tired after such a long journey." I grab Aragorn's hand as we follow Haldir back down the stairs towards a clearing we could set up camp in.

Aragorn smirks slightly and shakes his head. "I cannot believe Ashley is attempting to argue with the Lady," he smiles, obviously hearing bits and pieces of the mental battle going on. He chuckles again after a bit, rolling his eyes skyward. "Even more disbelieving, she won that argument. Lady Galadriel will be sending us some wine and strawberries as soon as we are settled." Ash walks over to join us with a smug look once we get to where we're goin, her arms crossed and bouncing on the balls of her feet the way she does when she's excited or impatient. "I believe I owe you congratulations." Someone clears their throat behind us and the three of us turn around, finding Haldir.

"Hey Haldir," Ashley smiles a little nervously.

"Hello Ashley, I was wondering if you'd like to take that walk now." Kharl, ever the protective older brother, pops up beside Ash and loops his arms through Ashley's and Haldir.

"We'd love to," he grins. Ashley's eyes widen like a deer caught in the headlights before a large smile appears on her face.

"Boromir," she calls, the large man approaching a few seconds later. She nods towards Kharl and Boromir shrugs with a smile of his own, picking Kharl up by the back of his shirt and walking off. "That bribe was so worth the hell I'm gonna get later."

"What bribe," i ask in amusement.

"Um, I-I kind of promised him a...Date...With you."

"You what?!"

"He used the puppy look; you know I can't resist the puppy look!" She grabs onto Haldir's arm and begins to pull him away as I process what she said.

"Andrea?"

"Yes, Aragorn," I ask in a shocked voice.

"You're not doing it."


	12. I'm Dead, Smeagol Junior

~Ashley's Point of View~

I chew on my bottom lip, a bad habit I'd picked up back in seventh grade when Andi would smack every time I tried to bite my nails. That was a nerve-racking week, and this is a nerve-racking day. Andi's gonna rip me a new one when I get back to camp because of the date I promised Boromir; hell, Aragorn might even jump in at some point considering he's now her boyfriend. Speaking of which, I glance shyly up at Haldir, eyes wide and childlike. "Ashley," he asks, looking down at me as we down a garden path.

"Yeah," I answer nervously. The last guy to say my name like that was my ex and you can probably guessed what happened afterwards—I'll give you a hint, it ended with Andi dumping my smoothie on his head, Kharl catching him in a back alley, and me curled up under my Doctor Who blanket watching reruns of NCIS.

"Why are you so worried?" Wow, a guy that actually wants to talk? That's a new one for me; my other boyfriends just sat on the couch, drank soda, and watched dumb shows all day when they weren't working.

"Because Andrea's temper is worse than mine and she's gonna kill me when I get back to camp." He wraps an arm around my shoulders so that our sides were touching. I nearly swooned right there, but I really don't wanna look like a bigger idiot than I actually am.

"Don't worry, Mel; she will not hurt you." Mel? That's Elvish for love if I remember correctly. Oh, please don't be one of those weird guys that says 'I love you' on the first date and then turn out to be an assjack later! My fangirl dreams must live on in someone! _Andi?_

_You're dead when I get my hands on you!_

_Come on, that's just the evil Ring talking, _I try hopefully.

_Nope, I'm really gonna kill you_. "Haldir?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm gonna die and the last thing I'm gonna see is her face glaring down at me."

"Stop talking to her telepathically and you might die slowly," he offers, making me snort.

"Gee, thanks for the help, Oh Mighty March warden. Hey, are you ticklish?" He raises an eyebrow at my question, looking like he was debating whether or not to back away. Before he got the chance, I tickle his stomach the same way I did to Boromir and, to my great surprise, Haldir lets out a very unmanly giggle. Yes, folks, he giggled for me; my life is now complete and I can face Andi with a sound mind. "Ha, you giggle even better than Boromir does," I shout triumphantly. Haldir takes on a proud, stubborn look I've seen on my cousin, Dean so many times that means he's about to defend his man card.

"I do not giggle."

"Oh yes you do."

"He do what," Orophin asks, walking over to us with a smile.

"He do giggle."

"I do not giggle," Haldir protests. I do as I did earlier, making him giggle again and his face go a bright red.

"Oh, brother, I do believe Lady Ashley is right; that was a giggle I heard."

"She is not."

"She is too," Orophin and I say in unison. Haldir gives his brother a look that could rival one of Andi's worse ones, the other elf high tailing it out of the garden before Haldir could say anything. "That wasn't very nice; you just did it because he was on my side." He turns the look on me and I smile, tilting my head to the side. "You and Andrea really should have a glaring contest before we leave again. You might actually have a chance of winning." The corners of his lips twitch up in a smile and he hugs me closer to him.

"You're one of the few who doesn't squirm under that look."

"Well, that's because I'm fully clothed." He chuckles, the both of us beginning to walk again until we come across the Lord and Lady of this place. Haldir bows respectively while I settle for a nice wave.

"Lady Ashley, Haldir," Celeborn greets us, nodding his head.

"My Lord, my Lady."

"Fancy people." The three Elves look at me strangely, Haldir giving me a faint, amused smile. "What, you're like the fanciest people I've ever met. Just take the damn compliment and don't let it go to your head." I smile over at Galadriel, but she's busy looking elsewhere; making a point not to meet my gaze. We all say our awkward goodbyes and continue walking. After a few feet, I begin to hum the song Welcome to the Family by Avenged Sevenfold.

"Why are you humming," Haldir asks, leading me past a rose bush into a clearing with clovers covering the ground, flattened where people have sat on them time and again.

"I have a song in my head."

Sing it to me."

"Sorry, don't really feel like making anyone's ears bleed on this night; try me another time...like when I'm drunk and my morals are basically gone." He places a light kiss on my lips and then another, longer one. Man, he's one smooth fucker. "What time is it," I ask in a breathy voice.

"Time for bed." He reluctantly walks me back to where the Fellowship is sleeping for our stay here.

_Ashley, come down the stairs. The Human Light bulb if freaking me out a little_. "Goodnight, Haldir." I kiss his cheek and wait until he's disappeared before following Andi's command. She sounded a little freaked out a second ago and a freaked out Andi means she needs back up. When I finally find her, she's bending over a large, stone bowl filled with water and Galadriel is standing across from her. Andi suddenly jerks away from the bowl, a shuddering breath escaping as she grasps the Ring tightly.

"That is the future should you fail," Galadriel says somberly. "Give the Ring to me."

"Give me Orlando Bloom and I'll think about it," Andi shoots back, taking a couple of steps away so that she's standing next to me.

"I've earned it; it's mine, my own!" Her eyes have darkened to a midnight blue color and I know it's because of the Ring's influence.

"Shut it Sméagol junior," I shout, pulling Andi away and kicking the Human Light Bulb's shin. "You ain't gonna get it!" After the sharp impact, her eyes go back to normal and she begins taking deep breaths to get herself back under control. I glare at the Elf, grabbing Andi and dragging her blonde ass up the stairs back to the Fellowship; who is still sleeping soundly for the first time in a while. "Horror movie survival tip number one: Never follow a crazy Elleth on a power trip."

"I'm pretty sure that's not right," Andi points out skeptically," last time you said number one was something like 'If a clown pops up in your shower squirt shampoo in his eyes and haul ass."

"Don't even talk to me right now." I was tired of this shit and ready to go back where I knew how to deal with the threats; Werewolves died from a silver bullet, cut the heads off vampires-that stuff was easy compared to all of this! "Go snuggle with your dude."

"Fine, Aragorn is probably wondering where I am."

"Uh, actually I meant Boromir; I really did promise him a little talk with you at the least." At her glare, I skip away to wear I know Haldir's talon is. "See ya tomorrow!"


	13. Sweet Revenge, Singing, and a Giggle Box

~Andrea's Point of View~

I wake up with a gasp the next morning, my dream still vivid; it was Boromir attacking Frodo for the Ring, but when he turned the Hobbit over, it was suddenly me there instead. I have to admit that it was a little creepy. "What's wrong," Aragorn asks in a concerned voice, pulling on his boots.

"Nothing," I shake my head," just a weird dream. He gives me a disbelieving look, but says nothing, focusing on his boots instead as I do mine. As soon as I'm presentable, Aragorn pulls me to my feet, wincing a little when my back pops. God, that felt amazing! "I've been waiting for that to happen." I smile at him, lacing our fingers together and letting him lead us out of the makeshift tent towards the main place in Lothlorien; the home of the Lord and Lady.

"We've all been invited to eat breakfast," he explains as we walk inside the large, crowded hall. Elves milled about, carrying trays and plates of delicious smelling foods. My mouth was beginning to water after the rations I've had to eat on this stupid trip.

"Andrea!" I can barely hear Pippin, let alone see him, through the crowd of people. Ash stands up and waves so that we know where the Fellowship is sitting and begin to make our way over to them. "Hello," Pippin greets around a mouthful of eggs and bacon.

"Hey, Pip." Ashley sits back down once we've taken our seats. She's sitting between Haldir and Legolas; Kharl is sitting between Boromir and Haldir; Pippin, Merry, and Sam are sitting next to each other, while Gimli sat across from them next to Rumil—the only two open seats were between Galadriel and Gimli. _Sorry, Ash thinks to me, I tried to save you guys' seats, but Leggy made it impossible._

_It'll be okay, Aragorn can sit next to the demented bitch._"Ashley, I could show you more of the garden after breakfast," Haldir offers, giving her a secret smile that wasn't so secret. I feel Aragorn tense up next to me as he waited for Ash's answer.

"Um, sure; maybe later," she answers shyly, a smile of her own firmly in place, though her's meant for him to shut the hell up or change the subject. I grin and dig into breakfast, proud of my friend. Maybe now she won't be so annoying. Once we finished, Ashley and I decided to grab our bags and find a place away from other people to read in relative peace; me grabbing my _Eragon_ book and her opting for _Inkheart_. With the iPod on shuffle, we settle down on the soft, clover covered, ground and let the real world fade away. Like always, though, when the right song comes on, Ashley and I can't help but sing along.

"_I got my ticket for the long way 'round, two bottles of whiskey for the way and I sure would like some sweet company, and I'm leaving tomorrow. What do you say?_"

"She was right, they can't sing," Haldir jokes with a smile, standing next to Aragorn.

"You're just jealous that you can't sing along," I snap back.

"She does bite," Aragorn grins, settling down next to me on the ground. Haldir sits down next to Ashley, making sure that their knees touch and smirking when he sees her shiver.

"You bet your ass I do. Hey, did you find out what you wanted to about Elfy?" Ashley nods with a broad grin, giving Haldir a mischievous look that meant he was about to regret teasing her this morning at breakfast and just now.

"Yup, Boromir isn't the only one around here that giggles." All but Haldir laughs at her fact, the elf blushing lightly with a glare on his face aimed at Ashley. "Oh, come on, Haldir; surely you won't let a little thing like that embarrass you?"

"Of course not," he says stiffly.

"You giggle," Aragorn asks incredulously.

"No, I do not."

"Whatever," Ashley snorts," Orophin heard you."

"He'll deny it."

"If you're not around to give him the evil eye, he won't." The elf in question was trying to sneak by us, but Ash catches him. "Orophin, get over here!" He walks over, Pippin at his side. "Didn't Haldir giggle last night?" He tries to look at his brother, but Ash forces him to look in her direction and, coincidentally, mine as well. I give him one of my better glares, nodding my head for him to agree.

"Y-yes, yes he did." Ash lets him go and he sprints away faster than I thought possible, obviously scared of what his brother might do to him later as payback.

"You see," Ash smiles," I told you so."


	14. Aragorn's a Daddy

~Ashley's Point of View~

"Mel," Haldir smiles," he would have agreed with you anyway because Andrea was giving him what I presume to be her best glare while nodding." I look over at Andi for confirmation, shrugging when she nods.

"What can I say, she's good to threaten people with." I grab my book and stand up, rolling my neck to get some of the tension out.

"Where are you going?"

"Levitation practice," I answer, knowing Leggy wouldn't be happy if I were late.

"I'll go with you then; I'd love to see it." He takes my hand in his and I lead the way to the spot Leggy showed me earlier; all the guys (Leggy, Kharl, and Pip) sitting around talking.

"Ashley, wouldn't I win if Legolas and I were in a competition," Pip asks, looking confident.

"Depends on the competition," I point out.

"Good looks."

"Then yes, of course you'd win." Leggy smirks at my answer, shaking his head and scooting over so Haldir and I can share his rock to sit on. I focus my gaze on one to the smaller rocks on the ground, making it shake for a moment before it shoots up in the air. _Andi._

_What now?_

_Go to the camp alone._

_Why?_

_You'll find out if you do it._

* * *

_I cannot believe you set me up with Boromir again!_

_Sorry, I told you last night that I promised him. _"Ashley?"

"Yes, Elf-boy?"

"You've been doing rather well, but you have this blank look on your face."

"I've been talking to Andrea."

"Yeah," Kharl nods," everyone gets a blank look after talking to her."

"That is rude." I jump at Aragorn's voice, spinning on my rock to face him and dropping the rock I'd been holding in the air with my ninja mind powers. "You should not talk about people like that.

"He hasn't liked her since ninth grade when she turned him down on a date. Then he tried to date her sister, but Heather strung him along and dropped him, so now he's dating other women whose names I can't remember while getting over a divorce."

"If you put it that way I sound bad," Kharl mutters.

"You'll sound bad no matter how I phrase it because you're an unemotional douche." Andrea joins us then; standing next to Aragorn and giving him a glare that makes even me flinch away. Damn, he must have done something pretty bad to get that level of pissed off. I haven't seen her this mad since the time Dakota Bradshaw groped her ass and she decked him in the face. "What's wrong?"

"Is what that light bulb told me true," she demands, ignoring my question completely.

"What," Aragorn asks, as lost as the rest of us.

"That Ashley is your fucking kid!" My eyes widen as I look at Aragorn's guilt riddled face. Taking the look as confirmation, Andi throws her hands in the air. "Why didn't you say something, I mean, I knew you were protective of her, but I just thought it was because you realized how damn clumsy she could be."

"I wasn't sure if it was true or not," Aragorn says in a soft voice, not meeting my gaze. "I thought Larien had left this world, but apparently the portal brought her back and took you with her." Kharl gently grasps my arm and leads me to the campsite, making me lie down in a tent.

"Rest, I know you didn't get very much last night and you'll need some if you continue on this mission-quest-thing." Nodding, I close my eyes and sleep soon sweeps me away to dreamland.

* * *

"Ashley." Aragorn gently shakes my shoulder until I wake up. "Are you alright; you were crying out." I stand up and walk into the daylight.

"I only have two things to say right now: It's weird you're dating my friend, but, okay, whatever; it's partly my fault anyway."

"And?"

"And _I am not _calling her mom!" He smiles, leading me away from the campsite and to some boats that everyone else is already in.

"Here you are, Larien," Galadriel says, handing me a necklace. It's a green leaf on a silver chain with the words Sedho Du etched into it in gold. With a nod, I clamber into the boat Andi and Kharl are in.

"What'd you get," I ask them.

"A cloak and a ring with my initials on it," Andrea answers.

"I got a cloak and a sword," Kharl smirks. "What does that chicken scratch on your necklace say?"

"It's Elvish for quiet night," I tell him, a burst of nausea hits me when we set off. "What, why are you both staring at me like I have to heads? Oh, God, I don't have two heads do I?!"

"No, you just went really green."

"Oh, screw you," I groan, curling up in the bottom of the boat and trying my damndest not to get sick.


	15. Seasick Pirates

~Ashley's Point of View~

We sail in our little boats until nightfall when the men finally agree on a camping spot that seems to be relatively safe. _Oh, how I've missed land that doesn't move! I feel sorry for pirates; that must have been a horrible experience. _I nod to myself, hands on my hips while I wait for my body to adjust to being on land again.

"Who are you thinking to," Andrea asks me curiously.

"Myself."

"My God, she's thinking to herself now; will miracles never cease?" I sigh, crossing my arms and looking out at the water as Andrea wanders away. Kharl comes to stand next to me with a curious smile.

"I know you don't miss being out there."

"No, it's just; I never realized how hard it must be for pirates not to get sick."

"Of course you'd be thinking of something like that at a time like this," Kharl snorts as he picks up a rock and starts skipping them across the calm waters.

_My precious_. I jump at the unfamiliar thought, looking around suspiciously as I walk over to Boromir and my...Father. I've read the thoughts of all the Fellowship members and that voice was not from one of them, but it sounds really familiar, a niggling sensation in my mind saying I should know it. Gollum; that's the mother trucker's name! "He wants the Ring more than ever now," I tell Aragorn softly.

"I know, Lariel, I know." My father wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a tight hug. "I've missed you so much these past years; often wondering if you were still alive or if the portal took you where it was supposed to."

"Minas Tirith is the safer road," Boromir says, continuing his earlier conversation. With Aragorn," You know that. From there we can regroup, strike out for Mordor from a place of strength." Aragorn rolls his eyes; he's heard this argument a lot here lately.

"There is not enough strength in Gondor."

"You were quick enough to trust the Elves." Aragorn gently pushes me behind him as Boromir's anger rises. "Have you so little faith in your own people? There is courage and honor to be found in Men, but you do not see that." Adar tries to walk away, but Boromir grabs his shirt. "You are afraid!" Feeling mad, I go forward and slap Boromir as hard as I can, his head snapping to the side because of the force behind it.

"Don't talk to my father like that," I tell him threateningly," If anyone here is afraid it is you!" He backs away a few feet, blue eyes wide. "The Ring will come nowhere near Gondor if I can help it." Aragorn takes my arm and leads me to my sleeping mat and thin, scratchy blanket.

"You need to rest," he tells me. I nod, lying down with a drawn out, dramatic sigh. All I've done today is rest, add that to my insomnia and I might as well drink a Mountain Dew and go to a rave. I close my eyes anyway, listening to the others' soft talking and soon I actually allow myself to fall into a light sleep.

* * *

I open my eyes after some gentle prodding. "Good morning, Sammy," I smile, voice heavy with sleep. He smiles back and helps me up. "Time to go?" At his confirming nod, I groan, head thrown back and hair sticking up at odd angles. "Dang it, I hate those stupid boats."

"So do I; I'm a Hobbit that likes to stay on land." Laughing, I hug him and lead the way to the shore and we both climb into our respective boats.

"Still seasick," Kharl asks.

"No."

"Your face is green."

"So what, am I not allowed to change colors?" He rolls his eyes and begins to paddle as I curl up into a ball again. "When did you learn to work a boat like this?"

"Boromir taught me."

"Oh, so he's moving in on you now?"

"What?!"

"Well, he does have crazy eyes whenever you're around."

"He's always had crazy eyes."

"That's a good point." He nods and focuses on the water while I concentrate on keeping last night's Lembas bread down. It takes us most of the day to reach to ginormous statues of men holding up one of their hands in a halting gesture.

"The Argonath," my father says," long have I desired to look upon the kings of old." I smile at his happiness as we pass through the gap between the statues and go straight to the shore. Kharl helps Andi and me out of the boat, dragging it on the beach afterwards so that it can't drift away. "We'll cross the lake at nightfall, hide the boats, and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the North."

"Oh yes," Gimli asks. "Just a simple matter of finding our way through an impossible labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks, and after that it gets even better, festering, stinking marsh—"

"Gimli," I interrupt," as great as that all sounds, I have to ask you to shut up." I give Pip a sympathetic look and he nods his thanks, face no longer so green.

"That's our path, Master Dwarf," Adar says firmly," so I suggest you recover your strength."

"Where's Andrea," Merry asks, looking around for the other woman while I start running. _Andi!_

_Yeah?_

_Where are you?_

_Uh, standing in the woods by this giant statue-thingy._

_This whole place is full of giant statues! _I see them after a few more feet, taking a running jump and landing on Boromir's back, knocking him face first into the dirt. "What's up, Blondie," I quip, trying to look natural even as I reclined on top of his back.

"Get off of me," he growls.

"I don't know you're just so damn squishy that I may stay a little while." He stands abruptly, knocking me to the ground and driving the air from my lungs. "What...the...hell...is your...problem," I gasp out, painfully sitting up and leaning on my elbows.

"Your friend is going to betray us all to Sauron! I can see it in her head!" Standing up cautiously while his eyes are on Andrea, I try to punch him, but he turns in time to grab my wrist and push me down again on the leaf strewn ground. He then jumps on Andrea, trying for the Ring even as she struggled fiercely beneath him. She manages to put it on and disappears, stealthily moving out of the man's grasp. I crawl away, following the footsteps while Boromir laid where he was in a daze. Once Boromir was far behind us, she takes off the Ring and runs to a huge ass statue while I run into Aragorn; literally, right into his chest.

"Larien, have you found Andrea," he asks in worry, steadying me on my feet.

"Yeah," I pant, my hands resting on my knees as I struggle to regain my breath.

"What was that?" Before I can repeat myself, Andi falls off the statue and lands on her back in front of us.


	16. Sailing and Kidknapping

~Andrea's Point of View~

"Ow," I groan as Ashley and Aragorn help me to stand again.

"Are you okay," he asks. _You tell him what happened._

"Boromir...Crazier...Attacked...Both of us...Lungs...Need air," she gasps, letting her legs give out and plopping down on the ground with her knees drawn up to her ears. Aragorn's eyes grow hard in understanding as Ash fills him in mentally.

"I'll kill him." Ash's head snaps up and my immediate thought is that she wants to help Aragorn with his promise of killing Boromir, and then I hear the sound of marching footsteps that don't belong to any in our group.

"Run," she shouts, taking off in the opposite direction of the footsteps, obviously having overheard the enemy's thoughts. "Uruk-Hai are a'comin' and I ain't being taken alive!" With wide eyes, I chase after her, taking our chances in the woods by hiding between some trees just as a group of Uruk-Hai pass us; Merry and Pippin hiding behind some bushes to our left.

"Andrea, Ashley, come hide," Pippin pleads. _I can't stay here! _

_I know; I'll distract the uglies and you run like hell._

_Tell Aragorn I'll see him later. _"You got it." She jumps out of hiding, her arms spread wide. "Hey, bitches; I can shoot a bow a whole lot better than y'all and I've never shot one in my life!" Pip and Merry join her in leading them away and I take off for the boats. I don't get far out on the water before Sam starts yelling.

"I'm going with you!"

"The hell you are," I yell back, continuing to row. The Hobbit shakes his head and dives into the water in a struggle to swim out to the boat I'm in. "Can you even swim?" I get my answer when he sinks under the water and doesn't surface afterwards. With a groan, I dive into the water after Sammy, grasping his shirt and pulling him into the boat with me; the both of us coughing and sputtering.

"Thank you."

"You're an idjit." _Ashley, Sam is coming with me_.

_No comment!_

~Ashley's Point of View~

"You fat, ugly, piece of shit," I scream as Kharl, the Hobbits, and I are carried on the Uruk-Hais' shoulders like sacks of potatoes.

~Andrea's Point of View~

"At least you're the quiet one,' I say to Sam, both of us paddling away.

"You're pretty quiet too," he lies with a smile. This just might be the longest journey ever.


End file.
